1. OK: He got drunk at a house party and passed out on his friend's bed with three other people including another girl, maybe.
One of the most important twentysomething survival skills is being able to find a comfortable place to sleep after getting wasted. So going butt to butt with eight other people in a hotel room so everyone could save P2,000 isn't anything bad. Sleeping next to someone is totally different than sleeping with someone.
NOT OK: Crashing in a bed with one other person.
This is a red flag. It's not sex, but it's still intimate and personal.
2. OK: Some girl grabs his ass at a bar and he gets annoyed.
He can't help it if he has an ass that's a magnet for drunk girls. If anything, be proud.
NOT OK: You spot him being touchy with some girl at a party when he thinks you can't see him.
There's being friendly to a stranger, and then there's being too friendly.
3. OK: He sends a text that's kind of jokingly flirty.
This might be kind of inappropriate depending on the context, but he probably just sees it as harmless fun and is totally oblivious to its implications.
NOT OK: Sexting with other people.
It's one thing to joke, "OH DAMN, YOU LOOKIN' HOT" with a friend, but it's a whole other to start listing off the things he wants to do to her.
4. OK: Remembering he never deleted his dormant Tinder profile.
Don't freak out just because your friend found your boyfriend's profile while browsing a dating website (Also why were you browsing a dating website?!). That thing could've been inactive for years, and half of those sites are borderline impossible to cancel, anyway. Unless it says "online now" he probably just forgot to cancel it.
NOT OK: Your best friend just matched with him on Tinder.
He claims it's just for fun, but there are plenty of fun apps where the objective isn't to have sex with everyone.
5. OK: He's protective of his stuff, including his phone.
Just because he cradles his new iPhone 6 like a baby doesn't mean there's any dirt in there. It just means he likes his stuff. Some people don't want you gunking up their phone after you just finished eating BBQ ribs with your hands.
NOT OK: He turns off his phone screen every time you walk in the room.
"Oh, haha. I guess you can't see my texts now because my phone is dead. I mean it's dying. I mean..." *throws phone on the ground and stomps on it*.
6. OK: His ex messaged him.
There are lots of completely innocent reasons he'd talk to an ex: a happy birthday message, a business contact, or a death or illness, sadly.
NOT OK: His ex messaged him at 1 a.m. and he left the room to respond.
If that sounds sketchy, it's because it is.
7. OK: He goes on lots of work trips.
Don't trick yourself into thinking that just because you don't see each other as often as you like, he's seeing someone else. He's busy!
NOT OK: These trips come up last minute or to odd places or no one else goes on them.
Coworkers can never corroborate his stories. He doesn't contact you at all when he's on them. He could have a demanding job, but if you're getting a real bad feeling in your gut and things aren't adding up, something is wrong.
8. OK: He's tired after work and hasn't been seeing you as often lately.
This isn't evidence he's cheating on you. Maybe he's depressed or stressed out about work, or distracted by a family thing. Don't jump to conclusions.
NOT OK: He says he wants to stay in and then your friend sees him out at a bar.
He says he's going to bed and then posts a pic of himself doing shots with a bunch of girls. (1) He's lying to you. (2) It's easier to cheat when he's drunk and you're not around.
9. OK: He's been staying late at work recently because of a big project.
There's no reason to get worried just because his schedule changed.
NOT OK: He's always staying late with another coworker, and sometimes they grab drinks afterward.
And the coworker is the 22-year-old intern named Kat.
10. OK: You haven't met his family and it's been six months.
There's nothing wrong with taking it slow, and six months isn't a long time.
NOT OK: You haven't met his family and it's been a year.
Unless his parents live far away or he's not close with them, it is a sign he isn't taking your relationship seriously. He might think this isn't going to last, you know, because he might be cheating on you.
11. OK: He was slow to respond to your Facebook relationship request.
It's 2014 and Facebook is 10 years old. Some people don't even use Facebook anymore. It's chill.
NOT OK: His profile is weirdly bare and private.
He's probably hiding something if you can't even see his wall or who his friends are.
12. OK: You haven't met all his friends.
NOT OK: You've met all his male friends, but none of the female friends he talks about.
There's a reason you haven't met them yet.
13. OK: He posted a selfie with some woman you don't know.
He's probably just goofing off at a work function and got suckered into a picture.
NOT OK: He posts lots of selfies with some woman you don't know on different nights.
Here is a rule: Guys hate taking selfies. Taking more than one selfie with anyone is a big commitment for a dude.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.