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10 Reasons You Should Be Happy You're Single On V-Day

You remember your last ex, and LOL.
PHOTO: istockphoto

While everyone else is feeling the pressure of doing something special for their partners on Valentine’s Day—or feeling another pressure entirely because they still don’t have a partner to do something special for—here you are, a strong, single girl, just coolly minding your own business, totally immune to the sight of red roses on the sidewalk and love declarations on Facebook.

Below, 10 reasons a girl like you are absolutely fine with being dateless on Valentine’s Day, because you’re too busy living the life—and LOLing over your last relationship—to mope.

  1. You remember your last ex, and LOL.

    He wasn’t a total asshole, but you knew you were just settling with him, so now you’re happy you’re both free from each other’s so-so grasp. Imagine if you were still together this Valentine’s Day: You’d eat some so-so set menu dinner, have some so-so conversation about computers or whatever thing you were just pretending to be interested in for his sake, and for the icing on the cake, go home for some so-so sex. Really, in the year you dated, you’d think he’d at least try to figure out how to make you come.

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  2. You think of all the other guys you could possibly have had as a Valentine this year and conclude: “Nah, I’m good.”

    That coworker all your friends want you to date? Bores you to tears. That guy who keeps blowing up your Messenger inbox? Cheated on his last girlfriend. Your most recent crush with the irresistible smile? Turns out, both bores you to tears AND cheated on his last girlfriend. You’d rather not push it with anyone because “No options are better than meh options,” says some old Chinese proverb, probably. 

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  3. You’re free from the stress of having to make Valentine’s Day unforgettable for someone.

    You have so many things keeping you busy right now anyway—from work duties to passion projects to trying to make the world a better place—that you appreciate having that one less thing off your plate. Trust, this girl’s NOT waking up at the crack of dawn to set into motion some elaborate surprise with matching choreography for some guy who never even tried to figure out how to make her come.

  4. Honestly, it’s crazy out there in the dating world.

    You hear about your friends having high hopes for promising new partners, only for these promising new partners to end up having questionable hygiene / subscribing to sexist views / being a snoozefest in bed / hooking up with a mutual friend / mooching off them because they’re unemployed / revealing themselves to be murderous psychopaths / admitting they’re actually married with two kids and now the wife is ruining your friend’s good name on social media. See all the bullets you dodged?

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  5. Let’s be real: Valentine’s Day merch is F-U-G-L-Y.

    Who wants to have some fugly cross-eyed stuffed animal clutching some fugly lumpy stuffed heart waiting for her at her office desk in the morning? Not you. Sure, you’d take the chocolate any day of the week, but most V-Day merch is plastered with cheesy script and comes in a tacky red shade, and save for the Taylor Swift album, you’re just not a fan of the color.

  6. Newsflash: Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day!

    You don’t get why people would feel sorry for single people on Valentine’s Day, when single people have also been blessed with 24 hours they can do whatever the hell they want with. Go grab drinks with your single friends; they’re loads more fun to hang out with than couples who are always making goo-goo eyes at each other anyway. Or go buy yourself a nice meal simply because you can, date or no date—after all, you are an independent woman (throw your hands up at me!).

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  7. TBH, it’s a relief to not have to get all dolled up and wobble around in heels for date night.

    Make no mistake, single people can celebrate V-Day however the hell they want…but with it being a weekday this year, no judgment if you’d rather skip the festivities, avoid the horrendous traffic, and head home early. Just imagine the pure joy of barging into your bedroom after a busy day, slipping on your ugly pambahay and ugly tsinelas, and being as ugly as you want without worrying whether or not some dude who can’t even make you come thinks you’re desirable.

  8. With your free time, you’ll get to finally finish that Netflix series. ON YOUR OWN.

    You’ve heard of partners having to wait for each other so they can go through a Netflix series together, and you realize how lucky you are to not have to deal with that. Want to catch up on your Russian Doll viewing on your commute home? Nothing’s stopping you. Want to stream Kingdom while sitting on the toilet in your ugly pambahay? You go, girl. What better time to watch all the episodes you want while sitting on the toilet in your ugly pambahay than on Valentine’s Day, sort of as an FU to this entire capitalist scam?

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  9. Yes, Valentine’s Day IS a capitalist scam—and this baby ain’t buying it.

    You’ve spent enough V-Days single to know that you’re the same phenomenal human being even though you’re dateless. You’re not less awesome just because you don’t have someone surprising you with a fugly stuffed animal on your office desk one morning. And you’re not doomed to unhappiness—no matter how nosy titas or patronizing coupled-up folks make you feel. You’re just you, complete on your own, bold and beautiful, a bootylicious Beyoncé in her own right.

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  10. Besides, being single right now frees you to—gasp!—meet the love of your life later on.

    For all your single awesomeness, you might still want to find that one great love eventually—who wouldn’t? Be glad you’re single now; that way, you’re more likely to meet him soon than you would be if you were still caught up making so-so V-Day plans with someone else.

And oh, you just know that the love of your life will care about making you come

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