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14 Struggles Of Conservative Girls Who Hate Dating

You will never ask a guy out or join Tinder.
PHOTO: Chris Clinton

1. You’re appalled by the hookup culture that prevails in the dating scene these days.

You’re not a manang, but you just don’t get how people can jump into bed so carelessly. Don’t these people want love and the whole shebang before they, well, bang?

2. You refuse to join an online dating site.

Of course, you want that first meeting to be ~organic~. Otherwise, where’s the romance? What would you tell your grandkids about how you and grandpa met?

3. You’re sick of the bar and club scene, where you have to kiss a ton of proverbial frogs just to get to Prince Charming.

You want to meet The One, but you’d rather bypass the procession of beer-breath creeps that normally comes at you when you put yourself out there, thankyouverymuch.

4. You quiver with kilig or bawl your feels out over romantic flicks, but you also remind yourself that they’re just movies.

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“Hell will freeze over before I meet my own Noah Calhoun,” you snort to yourself as you wipe your tear-stained face with a Kleenex.

5. You have such high standards, you write men off without giving them a chance.

You have a laundry list of qualities you look for in a guy. If a prospect even does one thing that goes against this list, alarm bells go off in your head and you’re all, “Boy, bye!”

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6. You’d rather be alone than force chemistry to happen with someone.

You won’t put yourself through two hours of small talk on a date just to “try lang.” You know that as you pretend to laugh at his corny jokes, at the back of your mind you’ll be thinking, "KILL ME NOW."

7. Your friends have given up trying to set you up because you’re so stubborn about your standards.

You wail about being single, but when a friend tries to find you a match, you wail about him not being your type. Your friends can’t ever win here.

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8. Once you do meet a guy you like, you play it so cool around him, you end up not getting him at all.

Oh well. At least you didn’t try to make a move, only to be rejected. Who’s the real winner here? Still you. HA!

9. And on the rare moments you find yourself on a date, you PANIC.

You tell yourself that you’re “cool” about everything, that it’s just a “casual hang,” but why can’t you stop your stupid hands from shaking?!

10. You’re always coming up with worst-case scenarios in your head to justify your refusal to date someone.

You never run out of excuses to chicken out of a chance to connect with someone, no matter how much you secretly entertain the fantasy of dating him. That’s just how you roll.

11. You miss the ligaw culture of yesteryears.

At least men back then would let you know in no uncertain terms that they were into you and were willing to go the distance to win your heart. To someone who’s lazy AF when it comes to dating, ligaw is a godsend.

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12. You want your own relationship but can’t be bothered to make it happen for yourself, so each lovey-dovey couple you encounter is like a tiny stab to your beating old heart.

“How come they have that and I don’t? Oh right, I’m too lazy.” *goes back to bawling over The Notebook*

13. You’re basically just waiting for true love to land on your lap.

To bump into the perfect guy at a bookstore as a Stevie Wonder song swells in the background for no reason other than ~destiny~ is THE DREAM.

14. No matter how romantic you are, a part of you has accepted the possibility that you’ll end up alone because you just can’t be bothered to date.

It’s you and me, pet cats. FOREVER.

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