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The 6 Ex-Girlfriends Every Man Wants To Forget

Good riddance.

1. The Puppy Love

What she represented: Mutual admiration founded on the innocence of holding hands and sloppy first kisses. Although this more-than-a-crush relationship extended to being “official” in the eyes of your friends and hers, his sweaty palms and inexperienced nerves were a clear indication of his youthful naivety.

Why he wants to forget: Because as soon as he graduated from high school, he ditched that darling as fast as he accepted his diploma. Because, you know, college chicks are just more mature and way, way hotter.

2. The Obsessed Psycho

What she represented: Sleepless nights of non-stop texting, 40 missed calls, and surprise appearances during boys night out. Being together forever meant tight hugs when parting ways and super hot sex on reunions.

Why he wants to forget: It was flattering that someone was so dedicated to filling his time, until she keyed his new car and scribbled, “YOU'RE NO ONE ELSE’S BUT MINE” with his dead dog’s blood on the windshield.

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3. The Too-Willing Wifey

What she represented: Supremely cooked baon for work, dapper new clothes for "monthsary" gifts, and proper etiquette when dining with her folks. Perfection was the name of her game, and he was willing to play along...until she went berserk over a crease in his polo during her BFF’s wedding, which prompted him to call it quits.

Why he wants to forget: Although she was the main reason for pulling him out of his post-college stoner-slacker phase, just when she thought he’d put a ring on it, the thought of spending the rest of his life with an emotionless robot was just, well, too robotic.

4. The Cool Girl

What she represented: Bouts of insomnia from playing too much videogames before sex. Pigging out at fast food joints after a night of binge drinking. And, the best part, an all-around comfortable sense of geekery when it came to comic books, movies, music, and the latest innovations in the bedroom. Ahhh, so cool!

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Why he wants to forget: Because this girl is probably still his friend and he can’t get over the fact that, aside from being super okay about not being in a relationship with him anymore, her allure in a two-piece bathing suit has only escalated now that she’s single and ready to mingle. 

5. The Rebel Princess

What she represented: Adventure and living in the now. Of course, adventure also came in the form of tequila shots 'til he puked his guts out, lines of coke and tabs of Ecstasy on gimmicks with her super hot gal pals, and scorching hot romps in public bathrooms. “You only live once,” she said, but she was the main reason he feared for his life.

Why he wants to forget: Because anniversaries turned into blackouts, and romance was replaced with dangerous feats in the name of appeasing.

6. The One That Got Away

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What she represented: True love in the essence of his then “now.” He built a dream future with kids that had her nose and his eyes, a house erected for fostering a family, and everlasting adulation for this woman he could call his.

Why he wants to forget: Because obviously, he loved her more than she did. Somewhere along the so-called perfect relationship, she chose the path that would better her future­–sadly it didn’t involve his presence.

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