To The One Who Got Away

"I think I now have to live with the fact that you will always be the standard."

Jason,

I still remember our first date. We were so excited to go out by ourselves for the first time, only to have your car break down on the way to the restaurant. We ended up walking to a nearby McDonald’s, where we ate chicken nuggets and fries. We talked about the most random things and laughed like silly teenagers. It was also the first time I learned how to dip my fries into my sundae—a habit I still do today.

That night ended with your driver replacing your broken car batteries, and you driving me home around midnight. You kissed me for the first time that night. Do you remember? You caught me off guard and said “Sorry, it’s just that I’ve been waiting to do that for years.”

Falling in love with you was easy. You always made me feel special with your little surprises and random visits. 

You always looked out for me and held my hand whenever I needed to be brave. You were my number one cheerleader—literally.

(I don’t think I will ever forget the sight of you wearing a cheerleader outfit during that time I had to play volleyball for our company sports fest, you know.)

Staying in love with you was easy, too. We had undeniable chemistry, and we loved and respected each other so much that everything else followed. We supported each others’ dreams—even if it meant that you had to leave me for two years to study abroad. I was so proud of you.

I think I now have to live with the fact that you will always be the standard, Jason.

Every guy after you never seemed to make the cut, because I somehow always found ways to compare them to you. Like, every time a guy I was dating would wear folded shorts, I’d think “Oh man, Jason would never wear that!” Or when he wouldn’t open the door for me, I’d frown and remember how you always opened doors for women, even if they were strangers.

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You gave me the love that I have always wanted—love that was easy and unassuming. You showed me that love doesn’t always have to be loud, that a quiet type of love is one of the most beautiful types of love.

You completed me, Jason. You really, really did. You filled in the missing parts of my life, until one day you decided that you no longer wanted to.

Today, I’m sitting at your wedding reception, with a smile plastered on my face. She is beautiful, Jason. And you look so so handsome in your suit—exactly the way I’ve always envisioned you to look in what I hoped to be our own wedding. Now, all I can hope for is that my future nephew will be a good man just like you.

Loving you in a different way now,

Michelle

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