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We Asked Real Guys: What Are Your Biggest Relationship Deal Breakers?

'I broke up with a girl I loved because it was getting toxic.'
PHOTO: Chris Clinton

Make no mistake: It’s hard for guys to break up with a girl. Guys don’t put in a Herculean effort to win a girl over in the first place only to dump the person they had invested countless dates, feelings, and emojis in. But sometimes, when things get bleak and a relationship just doesn’t feel right anymore, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

We asked real guys to reveal what makes them want out of a relationship—besides the obvious “I found someone else” scenario, which is just begging for a breakup. Read on to find out what causes guys to give up, make like Gotye, and go, “Now you're just somebody that I used to know…” *sniffs*

Sometimes, you’re just not The One, and he knows it.

“This might sound harsh, but kung may kulang sa girl, that will make me want to break up with her. I might not tell her upfront what the exact reasons are, but they could range from us not having sexual chemistry or her not having characteristics I want in a girlfriend. Or I might have only liked her for certain characteristics at the start, but along the way, I realized that those aren’t enough to keep me interested.” –Bong, 24

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Trust, once threatened, is hard to restore.

“If a girl starts hanging out with another guy in a way that makes me suspicious, like for instance if she does it without telling me. Even if she denies that there’s something going on between them, I might break up with her. A boyfriend will always assume the worst once another guy enters the picture because we know how guys think, so I’ll step away even if I love her.” –McKevin, 24

When you don’t give him space to be himself, he’ll eventually peace out.

“I’ll break up with a girl if she doesn’t respect me. After all I’ve done to win her heart and prove to her that I’m a worthy guy, I want a girl to give me some credit, not give me shit, or nag me. In a relationship, I give a girl all the respect I can give her, so I want her to do the same for me.” –Bullet, 28

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’Pag masyado na akong nasasakal. Guys want to retain a certain freedom even when they’re in a relationship. ‘Pag nawala 'yung freedom na 'yun—if she insists on being wherever I am, or she keeps texting me when we’re not together, or she keeps checking my phone even though I’m faithful to her—I would want to leave.” –Bryan, 28

Once keeping a relationship starts to feel like too much work, don’t be surprised if he ends up bailing.

“If she becomes too much to deal with and I’m handling too many things already and she doesn’t make things better for me. Kung wala na akong makuhang kahit satisfaction man lang from the relationship and puro pabigat na lang, ayaw ko na.” –Marvin, 28

“I was once in a relationship for 12 years, and along the way it all started to feel like a routine. We tried to make it work, nilalambing ko siya, pero wala na akong maramdaman. So we agreed to break up. Now I can say that nasa huli ang pagsisisi because I ended up regretting that decision.” –Kenny, 35

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If you’re not on the same page in your lives, pulling the plug on the relationship might be the most sensible thing to do.

“I’d break up with someone if we’re not growing together, either naiiwan siya or ako ang naiiwan. I believe a relationship should have two good halves, so growth in a relationship is very important to me.” –Baian, 26

“It’s always different for everyone, but breakups often happen because things between a couple have changed. That could be for a number of reasons; sometimes, your priorities change, like one of you starts to focus more on career or family. Sometimes, the guy’s just an asshole who doesn’t want to work things out.” –Joey, 33

And ICYDK, your insecurities bear down on him, too.

“If a girl can’t get over my past, like if I slept with a couple of girls when I was single and she always brings up the fact that I slept around with girls. If I could let go of the past and focus on the present relationship but for her part, she couldn't, then I’d have to break up with her.” –Boaty, 30

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“I broke up with a girl I loved because it was getting toxic. My friends realized it early on, but it took me two years to realize it myself. My ex had trust issues; she would bring up my past relationships and it would turn into an argument every time. Guys don’t have archiving systems of their partner’s past relationships in their heads like girls do, so it got toxic for me. I ultimately broke up with her because it was the best thing for both of us. I told her I didn’t love her anymore, even though I did.” –Panda, 24

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