Dating can often seem like an endless process of picking through the garbage to find a pile of gold. Between bad vibes and poor clothing choices (hello, sweatpants with dress shoes for no reason), it's easy to wonder how the hell no one has told some dudes what not to do. While it's safe to say that women can be just as flawed as men are in terms of certain dating behaviors, here are some of the most vile dating habits that way too many dudes fall into.
1. Hating on the dating app you met on.
While it's fine to make some innocent joke about the way you met, acting like you're going to have to throw yourself in front of a train because you met your date via a dating app that most of the world uses or has used at some point is a waste of time and also supes boring. Skip.
2. Not asking you any questions at all.
So much of the dating advice guys are given boils down to "Just ask questions, bro" so the fact that some of them are still not doing that even once is just lazy and bizarre. Plus, do you seriously not want to know me at all? Really? Ew.
3. Not revealing anything about themselves like they're in witness protection.
This is a sneaky trick I swear some guys use on purpose. I think the logic behind it is that they're since asking you so many questions about you, you're bound to think they're really interested, which is good. What's not good is leaving the date and realizing you know literally nothing about him but his name and the fact that he is alive. What are you hiding, Seth?!
4. Only talking about his job to the point where you want to leave.
Look, if you're both in the same field or you're really interested what he does, that's totally cool. But way too many guys talk about how they work in accounts receivable and tie everything they say back to their fast-paced accounts receivable lives. Have other interests, pleeeease.
5. Texting while you're freaking talking.
I'm of the belief that if you're on a date (especially a first date) you should just put your phone away. It's such a nerve-racking experience that catching him checking his Instagram while you're talking about how you just started volunteering at an animal shelter can feel cold AF. Plus, seriously? You would rather see what strangers are doing than listen to the hot woman in front of you?
6. Commenting on what you ordered.
Whether it's "I love women who eat a lot" or "Come on, don't just get a salad," making any comments about a woman's food choices is not a chill move at all. If you really need to weigh in, just say something like, "I love pasta too." Is it lame? Yes. Does it potentially shame her for ordering whatever the hell she wanted to order right now? No.
7. Commenting on how much or how little of your food you finished.
This is very similar to the one above, but in this case we're talking about, "Wow, you must be hungry!" or "You're not going to finish that?" And so I shall say it again: WE ATE AND ORDERED WHAT WE WANTED TO. SHH.
8. Getting offended if you want to split the check.
Or that you didn't offer to split it. Dude, if she wants to split the bill, it's not going to kill you to let her split it. Similarly, if you offered to pay and she didn't stop you, let it go, at least for the moment. If either behavior is a deal breaker for you just don't ask her out again. Simple as that.
9. Mansplaining anything.
If she says she gets street-harassed a lot, don't tell her it's a compliment. If she says she feels like her field is a little sexist, don't tell her that it's not because you know one woman who works in the same field and she seems happy. Basically, she knows how it feels to live her own life. You don't need to tell her she's wrong about it.
10. Comparing you to other women he's been on dates with.
Bonding over past crappy dates can be really fun, but telling her how she's "not like other girls" and talking shit about other women you've gone out with is the worst. It just makes you seem like you hate women or you're some kind of crazy perfectionist who's going to make fun of her the second she walks out the door. Neither of which bodes well for her future trust in you.
11. Wearing really, really strong cologne.
This is why roommates exist, so ask yours if he can smell you from the mall that's 5 miles away and if he can, oh my god, back the eff up and take a shower.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.