1. When your shorts ride up so they're even shorter. This is why I will go for high-waisted hot grandma shorts for the rest of my life. They're usually longer, which means that when they do ride up, at least they won't turn into underwear. It's really the best you can hope for with shorts.
2. When your butt creeps out of them. And you feel it creep. Ohhhh, you feel it. It's steady and subtle, and when it happens, you have to do that awkward 10-year-old move of pulling your shorts down so your butt goes back inside.
3. Constantly pulling down the one side of your shorts that refuses to stay down. This is different from the butt creep because it's like one butt cheek tries to escape, just one. The other one is totally chilling and fine, but that one wants to get out so bad that you spend the day monitoring one of your butt cheeks like a babysitter ... buttsitter? Nope, doesn't work.
4. If your shorts aren't high-waisted, muffin top forever. No matter how thin or heavy you are, put on shorts that aren't high-waisted and they're going to hit at a place that makes anything squishy pop right out. Then when you try to pull them up to compensate for that you get...
5. Vagina wedgies. Have you ever tried to pick shorts out of a vagina? Of course you have. You've worn shorts before and have a vagina. This also becomes a full day project. Eight hours for sure.
6. That ugly sunburn that also gives you awful shorts tan lines. Most tan lines are incredibly unsexy but having shorts tan lines when you're wearing a bikini just makes you look like you're wearing lighter skin shorts on a darker body. No.
7. When your thighs rub together to create a demon rash. This, in many ways, is unstoppable. If your thighs touch even the littlest bit, you will get an inner thigh rash that will only get worse with time and will burn with the fire of the sun. And shorts are the reason because shorts are assholes.
8. When they just get perpetually wrinkled during the day and you cannot stop it from happening. How do shorts not understand that it is impossible to look chic when they turn into a bunchy pile of wrinkles wrapped around my legs?
9. When you can't tell if your cellulite is showing from the back. But also it probably is because you're a person with a body and who cares.
10. When your shirt is longer than your short shorts and you accidentally look pants-less. I have been "the crazy long shirt lady with no pants" many times. I've kind of given up on caring, but also I definitely feel insane the whole time.
11. Your bare thighs sticking to leather seats. And when you peel them off the seat, it rips the leather off you like a piece of tape and then you get those not-hot-at-all red marks under your ass.
12. Sitting on public transportation and realizing your thighs are probably touching 4,000 gross things. This also happens to me when I'm wearing a short skirt and I just have to be like, "Well, my butt is probably sitting on lots of other butts, children who have picked their nose and rubbed it on the seat, a drunk person's puke. Who knows? Showering when I get home though. For sure."
13. Literally nothing fits in the pockets, and if it does, it falls out when you sit down. God help you if you try to put your cellphone in your back pocket because P.S. it's going to live in the toilet now.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.