Can We Stay Mentally Healthy Online? Expert Shares How To Survive The Toxic Side Of Social Media

Ironically, in today's digital age, things once seen as negative have found new life on social media—often disguised as freedom of expression.

Bullying, for instance, no longer happens only in classrooms. It has evolved into online hate threads and subreddit channels, where people hiding behind anonymous profiles throw insults and harsh words at the ones they don't like, even masking it as "being vocal," "sharing an opinion," or simply, entitlement.

According to Dr. Marinette "Nette" Asuncion, a licensed psychologist and founder of The Brown Psych, social media has the power to shape lives—and identities—in ways that deeply affect a person's development, especially among the youth.

"Social media has a way of amplifying the parts of ourselves that are still unsure, still forming. For teenagers—whose identities are still soft around the edges and whose brains are still learning how to hold contradiction, shame, longing—it can become a hall of mirrors. And not the kind that reflects truth," Dr. Nette told Cosmopolitan Philippines.

"And so, when cruelty shows up online, it doesn't just glance off—it gets in. Not just the outright bullying, but the subtler violence too: being ignored, being left out, being compared. These things may not leave bruises, but they linger," she added.

For Dr. Nette, social media exposure comes at a cost, and more often than not, it's the young people who end up paying the price. They are the ones still developing their "emotional muscle for things like comparison, rejection, and criticism." That's why, she says, creating safe spaces for them is crucial.

"Because social media will always offer performance. What our young people need is permission—to be imperfect, to disconnect, and to return to themselves," she added.

Dr. Nette emphasized that, regardless of the increasing use of social media, one way to promote a healthier and more compassionate digital space is by being more physically present and creating safe environments within our circles and families, where individuals can be themselves and openly voice their concerns.

"Healthy social media use is possible—but only when it's paired with presence. With rituals of check-in. With family agreements about how phones are used, when they get put away, and what happens when the internet becomes a source of harm rather than joy," Dr. Nette shared.

For Dr. Nette, building communities both online and offline forms the foundation of healthier social media habits. Not only does this foster genuine connections, but it also helps people set boundaries, something she believes is crucial in today’s digital age.

Sharing her own experience as a psychologist and a mother of a teenager, she said, "One of the most important things we've taught our daughter is how to say no. Not just in theory, but in real-time. She practices it often. Sometimes even with me. And I'll admit, there are moments I don't like it. But I respect it. Because she's learning that her boundaries are not up for debate. That she is still loved, still welcomed, still safe, even when she chooses herself."

"This, I believe, is the foundation of digital safety: to know that you are allowed to opt out. That your 'no' will not cost you love," she added.

Dr. Nette also noted that one of the unhealthy beliefs, especially in Filipino culture, that social media has reinforced is the idea that we must "shrink ourselves for the sake of harmony." As a result, boundaries are often compromised, and individuals let external noise shape how they think, feel, and see themselves.

In addition, promoting healthier social media use starts with proper media and information literacy. A study published by De La Salle University, titled "How Filipino Youth Identify and Act on Bullying and Harassment on Social Media," emphasized the importance of incorporating media and information literacy in schools to combat cyberbullying and online harassment, which remain prevalent today.

According to the study, literacy goes beyond simply providing the right information for responsible social media use; it also empowers young people to "assess their own online risks, measures to protect themselves, their reputation, and their privacy online."