Growing up is tough for everyone. We spend too much time and energy trying to fit in, compromising ourselves in an attempt to measure up to other people’s perceptions and needs. With bills to pay and careers we’re desperately trying to get off the ground, there are some things—and people—we need to let go of for us to not only reach our full potential, but also to ultimately lead happier lives. As we make our way to 30, we need to be more aware of the time we have now.
It’s time to re-evaluate!
1. Hating your body
It seems like hating your body is Puberty 101. Every teen develops insecurities and unfortunately, we take these with us to our 20s. Ladies, your body is the first thing the world gave you to protect. Embrace the fact that it keeps changing and anticipate the ways it’ll serve you in more ways than one. Who cares if you’re 250 pounds if all 250 pounds of you can climb mountains and run marathons?
2. Apologizing for everything
You do not have to apologize for asking a question. You do not have to apologize for disagreeing with your boss. You do not have to apologize for taking up space. You do not have to apologize for having an opinion. You deserve to be seen and heard!
3. Comparing yourself to other people
There will always be someone better—a better cook, a better employee, a better friend, and so on. This is just a fact of life. Holding yourself to an impossible standard is toxic to your sanity and self-worth. It takes up too much time, time that can be spent doing something more productive!
4. Having one-sided friendships
This one’s particularly difficult, especially if you have childhood or even high school friendships that only exist because you “have history.” Time isn’t the basis of a strong friendship. Real friends put in the same amount of effort to check-in with each other and catch up. If all you’re getting is "I’m too busy," it’s time to let him or her go. Trust us, EVERYONE is busy! People who bail on you, forget to respond to you, or are only conveniently there whenever they need something from you are people you shouldn’t keep around.
5. Wasting money
How many bags do you really need?! Start tracking your purchases and be more mindful of how you’re shelling out those hard-earned paychecks! It’s never too early to start planning for the future. Think about starting an emergency fund. Have a safety net for if you get sick, if your car breaks down, or if you get laid off. You’ll thank yourself later.
6. Trying to impress everybody
So what if you’ve traded bars for books in bed? So what if your phone’s from 2013? So what if you haven’t tried that new health craze? SO WHAT? You don’t have to be someone you’re not and you don’t have to feel like who you are, what you offer, and what you’re doing aren’t enough.
7. Listening to everyone but yourself
Yes, constructive criticism is helpful, but ultimately, it’s up to you to decide if someone’s advice is something that fits your lifestyle and your belief system.
8. Faking orgasms
Constantly faking orgasms is like saying that the other person’s needs, desires, orgasms are more important than yours. This can be dangerous because women are raised to believe that we have an obligation to titillate men. Why do you think sex stops when he’s done? Learn to fight for your orgasms, girl! Get yours! Deserve mo ‘yan.
Follow Ysa on Instagram.