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Are You Sure You Want to Be Miss Popularity?

Fame comes with a price. Find out how you can be a star in your own way--and how to handle it--with these tips from our Style & Beauty columnist.

Whether we admit it or not, at one point or another in our lives, we've wondered what it would be like to be in the shoes on our favorite celebrities--where fame, fortune, and endless Twitter followers and Google hits come up at the click of their name.

Do you sometimes wish your life could be just as exciting as the plots on hit reality programs like The Hills or Jersey Shore? Do you ever wonder how in the world Kim Kardashian got so famous for, well, being famous?

Are you living a life where you've always been the regular girl in school or work whom no one really notices? The one who has to make a real effort to get any attention? Do you find yourself questioning why others seem to be more popular than you, even if they don't even have the most genuine personalities? Do you ever wonder when will be your time to shine?

Well, it's important that you know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE in thinking these things. Even the most popular people can be the loneliest and most insecure in the world. Our advantage, however, is that we get to watch them succeed or fail, then learn from all the choices they've made.

Let's by look at two familiar situations and see where you fit in.

The Ugly Duckling

If you're one of those girls who weren't ever considered cute or were never the center of attention, then you should be so lucky! Yes. When this happens to a child, it unconsciously conditions her mind to develop her personality, since she lacks the so-called attractive physical traits. In this scenario, untapped talents, a sense of humor, and deeper intellectual thoughts, among others, develop in her at a young age.

You may not realize this until you're much older, though. Looking back, you might realize that you probably spent a big bulk of your life in these situations:

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  • You were in the shadows, being bullied for lack of confidence.
  • You were considered a wallflower for being just like everyone else.
  • Being an outcast, you took out your frustration on everyone you could.

Most of the time, these types have to work double time (consciously and unconsciously) to prove themselves. This is to disprove the assumption that they don't deserve to get picked first or be regarded as the most popular.

The Belle Of The Ball

Now these little girls were the ones everyone adored since they were young. They were the ones who were expected to "break men's hearts when they get older!" Sounds familiar? Later on, say in high school, it became so normal for them to always be the class muse, the "crush ng bayan," and yes, the prom queen.

Both boys and girls who were pegged the most handsome and prettiest the moment they were born got a head start in the grabbing-attention-without-trying department. Therefore, they have grown up with a sense of confidence, even in the midst of large crowds, older people, or seemingly daunting situations most kids could not deal with.

These types don't have much trouble fitting in since their positive physical traits have oftentimes  helped them win most of daily life's so-called battles. They may be at least one of these:

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  • They have a generally nice disposition since they were liked by everyone.
  • They turn out to be extremely self-centered that they never really cared or had an opinion about anything or anyone but themselves.
  • They use their popularity to manipulate situations to work in their favor.
  • They become narcissistic and resort to bullying because this fed their ego. They simply felt they were invincible.

Most of these types easily became popular for their attractiveness, affirmed at an early age. The disadvantage is, they have a subconscious need to develop a personality laid dormant. Have you ever met those people who are so damn gorgeous, but when the conversation starts rolling, you discover that they're so dry or boring?

Now, between those two, which could you relate to the most? The Ugly Duckling or The Belle of the Ball? Recollect your childhood and try to understand where your traits, trains of thought, and mentality may have stemmed from. Now that you've figured out who you are between the two, let's see who you can now become.

The Lovely Swan

As the story goes, the ugly duckling becomes a beautiful swan. Now what does this mean? Well, it means that you ladies who fall in The Ugly Duckling category got a headstart in life!

You see, unknowingly, you've conditioned yourself to take on thicker skin and forced yourself to learn how to deal with trauma (however small) at such a tender age. If you choose to take strength from your past, it'll make you the most beautiful version of yourself—underneath all the designer clothes and heavy makeup! This is what makes you become a well-rounded individual. You have personality, character, an interesting life filled with drama (which you were able to overcome!), and a strong spirit!

Do you ever meet people who may not necessarily be the most attractive but upon conversing with them, they become more and more beautiful or handsome for some strange reason? Perfect example would be Oprah Winfrey, who was sexually abused at a young age, and then there's Ellen DeGeneres, who was persecuted for being gay in the '90s. Look at the people they've become and the big hearts they've shared with others. Tyra Banks was bullied when she was growing up for being scrawny and ugly! Well, look who got that wrong! These people only wish to lead good, productive lives because they were given the strength to overcome their demons, struggles, and deepest insecurities. As the saying goes, "Life never gives you trials you can't handle."

4. The Trophy

Everyone likes a winner, right? But as with all trophies, they are stiff and meant to be adored on a mantle that usually collects dust. There are the ugly ducklings or belles of the ball who have worked hard to become or attain their popular status to the point that they have lost their identity and felt as if their value as a person solely depends on, well, popularity.

These people either don't realize how much they're missing in life or don't care what they're giving up, just so they can be at the top of their game—in EVERYONE ELSE'S EYES but NOT THEIR OWN. Their worth is determined by what others think of them, not their own sense of worth.

They may be the most popular, the most wanted, the best dressed, etc. But because they have deep-seated issues they can't or don't realize they have to face, they only feel empty, like something is missing in their seemingly perfect lives.

What the fairy tales of our childhood don't tell us is, whether you're an ugly duckling or the belle of the ball, the outcome is NOT predestined; IT IS A CHOICE YOU MAKE FOR YOURSELF.

We need to stop comparing our lives to the seemingly glossy lives of others and stop wishing we lived theirs. We don't have the faintest clue what goes on behind closed doors (even in reality TV shows)! Take a look at what happened to Britney Spears and, more recently, Demi Levato. Their meltdowns happened for the world to gawk at!

If you've been living a plain-Jane kind of life, we only have the highest hopes for you because something big is definitely coming your way. Life is merely preparing you for your big opening! You just have to open your eyes and your heart and believe that you are the star of your life.

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