1. The loud talker. We’re all trying to concentrate here, and loud chatter—what more, about irrelevant crap—is distracting and annoying—we can’t hear ourselves think! That person naturally has a loud voice? Well, she can step out of the office and talk in the hallway or foyer, or actually learn how to tone it down.
2. The hypocritical loud talker. This person talks loudly (worse if he has a high-pitched voice) but doesn’t like it when other people talk, never mind if they’re speaking softly. WTF?! No one likes a hypocrite.
3. The gossip. You’d think that after high school people would stop spreading rumors, what more in a professional and serious setting. But nope! There’s that person who seems to not have a life so she won’t shut up about other people and their businesses.
4. That person who doesn’t hold the elevator doors open. Lazy, discourteous fuck. It’s like this guy doesn’t know that elevator doors close automatically when left alone and doesn’t see that people are rushing in the lift. For some reason he’s just going to stand there and cross his arms. (Why does this dude have a job?)
5. The loud typer. A loud voice isn’t the only thing that’s distracting. Keyboard noises are just as bad. Case in point: CLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACK!! To loud typers out there: Your computer can easily register your input (if it can’t, inform the management); you’re not on a typewriter.
6. That person who uses your supplies behind your back, or steals them. You don’t know who this person is. You just find your pens scattered on your desk the following day, or worse: missing. Technically, they’re not your pens; they’re the management’s. Which makes the whole thing more frustrating because that person could have just asked management for another pen instead of using someone else’s. Prick.
7. That person who’s always late to meetings. These meetings will most likely end later than already expected, so you have to work longer hours to do the other important things for the day. All thanks to someone who doesn’t give a shit about your time or doesn’t care at all about time.
8. That person who’s got a fever but is still in the office. We all appreciate a hard worker, but seriously, a sick person shouldn’t be going to work. He could make other people sick, too! That’s just selfish of him if he only thought about his work hours, his salary, and his sick leaves.
9. Sometimes it’s the boss who makes the sick employee show up in the office, so let’s add the boss here on the list, too.
10. That person who makes you do her job and spends the whole day on Facebook. And her work’s got nothing to do with social media?! That’s annoying, especially when you have your own tasks to accomplish. Thinking “That’s not my job!” is all right in this scenario, but that’s better left unsaid or worded way, way differently.
11. That person who takes credit for other people’s work. How on earth can this person sleep at night or afford to hold her head high in the office?!
12. The messy eater on her desk or cube. She’s the one to blame if the entire office becomes infested with cockroaches. EWW. Can she just leave and go to the pantry or caf, please?
13. That person who ignores a ringing phone. Are people playing deaf? Are we in some action movie where the phone could explode when it’s picked up? Sorry, no. NOW PICK UP! It’s for you anyway!
14. That person who plays music or watches videos without earphones or headphones on. No matter what song that is, it doesn’t sound pleasurable when the quality is muffled—and when someone softly plays music on his speakers ’cos he forgot his earphones, the sound is terrible when you hear it from a few feet away. He might as well blast the song, but that makes him an asshole, too.
15. That person who has one job and doesn’t do it at all. Why he still has a job can’t be explained—how can a person like that get immunity? You kind of want to give him a piece of your mind, but you don’t know if you’re in the position to or if anything good will come from it.
16. That person who has one job and will only do it if you bribe him. Are we in a government office? LOL. This guy is a total asshole. He’s already getting paid to work, and he still needs to be bribed?! If he wants more pay, he should tell his superior or look for another job. The point is, no one should be asking (and taking) bribes to work well or work at all. Bribes ain’t right, and creating an environment where bribes seem necessary is evil.
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