The New York Times teamed up with product recommendations site The Wirecutter to answer the most important of questions: What the hell does a person have to do to keep her goddamn phone battery working? It turns out what you've been told to try doesn't help.
What does help, the Times reports, is using the auto-brightness option in your Display & Brightness settings as opposed to adjusting your brightness manually. They also suggest blocking mobile ads that pop up when you use a browser, adjusting your email settings so you get a burst of them once an hour instead of receiving them the second they get in, and actually downloading your music instead of streaming it. You can read the rest of the tips here.
As far as everything else you've been told to save your battery, this test proved it to be a lie. Go ahead and keep your 104 apps open! Use Wi-Fi whenever you damn please! Let the world know where you are with location services! Calibrate your phone whenever you feel like it! And, yeah, let Siri and Google do their thing! None of these things do much to conserve power.
If all else fails and none of these hacks work for you or if the world collapses into itself and you find yourself amidst a zombie apocalypse (and all the zombies have Androids), The Wirecutter suggests buying and using an external battery.
Life is hard.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.