1. Those cooking videos all over Facebook just make you sad because you know you can never recreate them.
There are 10 different ingredients and multiple steps involved? Nope, that's not going to happen.
2. Your fridge is basically empty at all times.
So you never have snacks for friends, and you always need an excuse for when people ask why you only have wine and some carrots in your fridge. "Umm...the power went out?"
3. You jump at literally any chance to have a home-cooked meal, but you never have anything to contribute.
Nothing looks lamer than bringing a box of storebought cookies to a dinner/weekend picnic/office potluck/homemade brunch.
4. You know that any time you even try to cook, there's a chance you'll start a fire.
Even if you're not using anything with heat, fire is always a possibility.
5. You know that your future partner needs to be able to cook or else your children will starve.
"Can you cook?" becomes one of the most important questions to ask on a date.
6. Whenever you make even the simplest thing (like a salad), you have to document it for the whole world to see.
LOOK, I PUT TOGETHER SOMETHING EDIBLE AND I DIDN'T DESTROY THE KITCHEN IN THE PROCESS.
7. You get called out for bringing your friends homemade treats because they know there's a good chance you didn't actually make them.
So what if my grandma made these brownies? It's the thought that counts, right?
8. Whenever you do try to cook for someone, it never turns out like you wanted.
If I try to cook for you, it's definitely a sign of super true love. But you still shouldn't expect it to taste good.
9. Grocery shopping is a continuous cycle of picking something up, wondering if you can cook it, putting it back down, and then leaving with only instant noodles and chips.
If I put my mind to it, could I filet a fish and make a side caesar salad with homemade dressing and toasted croutons? No? Pancit canton it is.
10. You have a soft spot in your heart for fast food places.
You know they're not healthy, and you should probably avoid them. But when it's late at night, you have no food in your fridge (see # 2) and you are getting hangry, it's a better option than attempting to cook something and failing miserably. Fast food is there for you when your cooking skills aren't.
11. Most of your non-pancit canton dinners consist of bread and eggs.
Such a ~*pro.*~
12. Food is pretty much the only reason you ever talk on the phone.
Because that one pizza/sandwich/salad place is stuck in the dark ages and doesn't have a website. Your favorite sushi place is on speed dial, and you have no shame.
13. People who can cook tell you that it's soooo easy and judge you hardcore for not being able to do it.
I don't judge you for the things you can't do, so please stop the cooking-shaming. The ability to successfully bake lasagna is not gifted onto everyone.
Follow Madison on Twitter.