1. You are up for just about anything. Always.
The best thing about being single is that friends can literally drag you to any party at the last minute. "Hey! Whatchoo doin'? Wanna grab drinks in Blind Pig TANAYT?" Of course you can! "Tagaytay mamaya for lunch. Sorry, last minute! G?" Yes! "I have one extra ticket to Insurgent later at Greenbelt. Free ka?" OO! You are always available, because you haven't made concrete plans...for the last three years.
2. You are notorious for being the third wheel.
Your ex-single girl BFFs now have boyfriends, and you cannot deal. So since most of your friends make 1/2 of a couple, you are now a staple at their dates.
You, on a Friday night: "Ano plans niyo ni Francis?"
BFF: "Movie night."
You: "Sama ako?"
3. You haven't brought a date during Christmas dinners, birthday salubongs, weddings, and family get-togethers in a while.
Your friends and family members have stopped asking you, "Oh, so are you bringing anyone special tonight?" Wala po, ok. Ako na single. Ako na walang plus one. Kayo na may special someone.
4. Your titas annoy the fuck out of you.
Because they always ask The Worst Questions Known To Single Girlhood, "Kelan ka magkaka-boyfriend?" OR "May manliligaw ka ba?" OR "Medyo matanda ka na ah. Ayaw mo pa mag-asawa? Paano ka magkaka-baby?"
5. You have ONE single girl BFF and she is your lifeline.
When you want to go out, but have no one to go out with, you can always rely on your friend Mea. Eventually though, Mea will meet someone and they will be a couple. You dread that day. You dread that day very much.
6. You like cats.
Taylor Swift is your spirit animal.
7. You travel way too much.
Your official hashtag is #BookIt. You are going to Japan in April, Hong Kong in May, and Coron in October. You travel a lot, because you've saved a lot over the last couple of years kasi wala ka namang pagbibigyan ng Nike Air Max 90.
8. You're never at home on Fridays.
Last working day of the week, and there is no way you are spending it at home. You are spending tonight in Valks, Home Of The Cute Boys Who Will Probably Never Remember Your Name The Next Day But That's Okay.
9. But you're always at home on Saturdays.
In bed. Possibly in pajamas. With your top knot. Reading a book. Or watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Because you can.
10. You have stopped buying sexy lingerie.
"What good is this bra from La Senza if no one is ever going to see it?!"
11. You have stopped waxing down there.
12. But you are always dressed up when you go out.
It doesn't matter if it's just coffee with a high school friend in U.P. Town Center. Or dinner with college blockmates in Greenbelt. You are always dressed, because you never know who you'll meet or bump into. #peacocking.
13. You hate couples.
Everything about them makes you puke. You hate it when couples hold hands at the mall. Or when they walk super slow when you are trying to get to the office on time. You hate cheesy Facebook posts about love and relationships and anniversaries and #ThisOne. How about #T*nginaThis.
14. Speaking of! You really hate the stupid hashtag that is #ThisOne.
"Dinner with #ThisOne," or "Random flowers from #ThisOne, just because." GO AWAY HAPPY PEOPLE WHO HAVE SIGNIFICANT OTHERS.
15. Your friends have set you up with all their friends.
"Alam mo, there's this guy I want you to meet..."
"But I don't want to meet him."
16. You have dated around. A lot.
One day, your mom will ask you out to lunch and tell you, "Anak, why can't you find a decent man to settle down with? Why do you keep going out with every Tom, Dick or Harry?" "Mom, rare breed kasi yung gwapo na mabait na alam yung gagawin sa life. 'Yun lang."