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5 Reasons You Shouldn't Be Happy That Your Guy Still Watches Porn Regularly

Here are reasons you have every right to be unhappy about the whole thing

Some people believe it’s okay that your guy watches porn—that you should be okay with it—because anyway he’s not intending to hurt you, that he’s not really imagining fucking this and that porn star. They say you’re just feeling uncomfortable because you’re insecure about your body, how it’s not like those of porn stars and how you’re just afraid you’ll lose him to his fantasies—basically it’s all in your head and therefore it’s a problem you’re making up.

How dismissive and judgmental of them to say so.

If you and your guy are having sex and he still watches porn regularly, it can be a problem. Here are reasons you have every right to be unhappy about the whole thing:

1. He’s not satisfied with having sex with you, when he technically should be.

If he says he loves you, your sex lives—especially if you guys do it constantly—should at least be satisfying since the emotional attachment heightens the pleasure of sex. But if he sneakily watches porn to finish off (which is usually the case), not only is he unsatisfied (no matter how much he may want to be pleased with having sex with you) but he’s also keeping something from you. It could be an issue or a fantasy, which has to be talked about for your relationship and your sex lives to be better.

2. He might have unrealistic standards.

To the point that he’s delusional and believes that all sex has to last at least an hour, that his penis has to be seven inches long, and so on. Sure, some guys who still watch porn know that that’s far from real life. Still, there are others who don’t. They constantly look for that porn-like experience in real life and when they don’t find it they turn to porn and more porn.

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Similar to the idea that sex with you might feel pretty empty or at least not very mind-blowing to him, you do have every right to be concerned about him not feeling satisfied with something as natural and primal as having sex. Virtual reality can be pretty awesome, but it is problematic when it takes away our ability to be content with the real world and real life.

3. He has intimacy issues.

Maybe it’s precisely the emotional connection and openness that unwittingly bugs him about having sex with you. Porn has none of that cheesy or romantic stuff. All you get is a lot of that vigorous thrusting in various positions—mostly hot sex.

While it’s okay to sleep around without emotional attachment, that shouldn’t be the case when he’s in a relationship with you (assuming you’re not in those “Don’t fall in love with me” agreements). Part of being in a relationship is having that level of intimacy. Or talking about what’s scaring you about getting too attached—open communication couldn’t be more essential.

4. He can’t talk to you about his desires.

Speaking of communication, it’s possible that he watches porn to see or vicariously experience things that turn him on like bondage stuff, and he just can’t tell you or doesn’t know how. You might need to examine your dynamics to figure out why he can’t talk to you about his fantasies.

5. He might be addicted to porn.

If he’s really an addict, it’s perfectly all right to be worried—you kind of should be too. Addicts are usually trying to escape something because they don’t want to—or think they can’t—face it even if doing so is the healthier thing to do. So it’s possible that your guy turns to porn to divert his attention from the problem, to clear his head, or to keep himself busy. Things can get pretty rough if he doesn't seem to be functioning well—he’s not being productive, he’s not rational anymore—when he doesn’t get his porn fix.

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For this to be fixed, he has to admit he has a problem so you guys can get to the bottom of the issue—he has to be willing to let you help him, of course. Remember to be there for him and do things out of love.

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