For Your Guy: Why You Should Never Be Kampante

Better read this, boys: Reasons why you shouldn't stop making us kilig.

In relationships, there are highs and lows, and lulls—that stretch of time when you’re about three or so years into dating, and you and your honey have settled into a nice, cozy routine. You go about your days thinking nothing’s wrong, oblivious to the fact that it’s been months since your last legit date, even longer since you surprised her with her favorite flowers, and come to think of it, the last present you got for her birthday was...a hug.

These telltale signs of relationship apathy set off warning signals in our head. If you’re in this for the long haul and want to keep your girl happy, take a long, hard look at your relationship with a fresh pair of eyes. Here are truths to usher you along the way.

1. We like fire in our relationships.
Nothing kills the romance in a relationship faster than passion gone kaput. Maybe you’ve stopped doing things you used to do: you don’t call as much, you’ve let anniversaries go uncelebrated, or you’ve stopped paying us compliments. Trivial as they may seem, these are things that make us question how deeply you feel and if your feelings have changed over time.

Keeping that spark alive requires putting in work, and maybe once in a while you need to be reminded that all relationships, especially long-term ones, need just as much attention now as they did years ago. Why do you think rom-coms rake in millions? Here’s the truth: It’s every woman’s fantasy to be tirelessly pursued.

2. Physical attraction will always be important to us.
Just because we’ve been together for years doesn’t mean we’ve got blinders on. It’s one thing to feel so comfortable around your girl that you show up for a date unshaven. It’s a whole other thing to abandon your looks assuming that we’ll always think you’re the hottest guy in the room.

Our advice: Don’t let yourself go. Make the effort to look good around us and chances are we’ll find you impossible to resist, even if we’ve seen that polo shirt that looks so sexy on you many times before. If you constantly remind us of what we have and what we could potentially lose, that’s one way to keep us on our toes, too.

3. We have a lower tolerance for bull. Hindi na uso ang martyr!
Marie, a 28-year-old entrepreneur in a five-year long-distance relationship says it’s not always easy to talk to her guy about things that disappoint her, but she makes sure he knows about them. “That’s the only way he’ll realize them and do something about them,” she says. “Sometimes they need you to spell it out, what they’re doing wrong and how they can fix it. If I keep quiet about things that upset me then he’ll just get away with it again and again. Ano ‘ko, martyr?

True, romance has its way of falling on the wayside after some time. As much as that’s considered an acceptable norm, don’t think we won’t give you a hard time or at least the cold shoulder about it. Point is, nobody likes a slacker. We’ll call you out on that, so save yourself the agony of a fight and bring your A-game to the table. Do you really want to remind us that we still have options?

4. Your lack of effort has repercussions...in bed.
We can’t be any more blunt than this: If your girl’s unhappy about your relationship, be prepared for sexytime sessions to suffer the consequences. The amount of romance in a relationship is almost directly proportional to the amount of great sex you’ll get out of it. If anything, romantic gestures are always a huge turn on—that’s why V-Day and B-day sex are so hot. Nothing gets us in the mood more than being swept off our feet. If you want to bring back those days when we couldn’t get our hands off you, turn up your inner Romeo and you’ll be rewarded in more ways than one.

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