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Getting Hitched: "To Do" Or "To Ditch"? Part 2

In the season of weddings, Cosmo.ph columnist Bianca Valerio gives you a dose of reality, as she continues her discussion of factors to consider pre-engagement.

If you havn't read Part 1 of this 2-part special last week, we highly suggest you do so right now before proceeding.

Now that you've had some time to reflect on the realities of marriage and post-wedding bliss, we give you more points to consider. It's not that we want to burst your fairytale bubble, but the fact that life isn't lived in one means you are responsible for your own decisions. So allow us to help you do so without regrets, as we continue our discussion of things to consider before tying the knot:

6. Morals

Basic principles and values are instilled in us from a young age, and which hopefully take us through life. What values mean the most to you? Fear of the Lord? Generosity? Patience? Loyalty? Does your partner share the same values? Do you both share the same religious practices like hearing mass, meditating, fasting, etc.? Are you willing to give up your religion for his or vice versa?

When it comes to relationship attitudes, there are particularly sensitive things you need to know beforehand. What are your views and ideals on cheating? Does he consider viewing porn sites or "sexting" not a form of cheating? How tolerant will you be should he indulge in pornography and the like, if he considers them harmless?

7. Group Of Friends

As the saying goes, "Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are." Cliques change as we get older and are indications of how we've evolved as individuals. Get some insight into his maturity level by taking a look at his other relationships. Does he hang out with peers who are a good influence? Do his friends inspire him to be successful? Or do they add to his laziness and deter him from personal growth?

8. Character

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they act around people who are in subordinate social and professional positions at home, in the work place, or even on the street. Sure enough, it is easy to be respectful and generous toward others who you think are of the same or higher "level" than yourself. Compassion, tolerance, and generosity toward all people—regardless of who they are—reveal the true heart of a person. If he's capable of treating strangers in a derogatory way, what more a loved one?

9. Interests

Relationships start off on a high and both of you make compromises to impress each other. However, when the fluff is gone, are you both still willing to do all those things together? Consider these things: Is he a health buff while you love to stuff yourself silly? Are you Miss Adventure while he likes to stay indoors? Do you enjoy watching plays while he prefers hitting the poker tables? Or do you resent gambling, but he thinks it's harmless on a Sunday night out with the guys?

There are two types of partners' support: active and passive. An active supporter is someone who is there with you every step of the way in your life's endeavors. Passive supporters are those who allow you to do what you want, as long as they don't have to invest their time, attention, or effort. With which type of partner do you consider yourself willing to spend the rest of your life? And which type of partner are you?

10. Sexual Chemistry

Need we say more? Many say physical attraction and sexual chemistry are not so important since looks fade as you both get older. But, that's exactly it! Looks and sex do dwindle, so why not get the most of it while it's hot? Then again, what is more important to you? Are you okay with waking up next to someone you're not magnetically drawn to but who is ultimately a good guy you can grow old with?

There are so many factors one must consider before deciding to get hitched. But the most important thing you have to ask is: Why do you want to get married?

Men aren't stupid. Some women use marriage as a way to get out of their houses or the strict hold of their parents. Men feel pressured knowing that the girl would rather depend on him to "rescue" her when, in fact, that only makes the situation worse! It is not the answer to one's issues with being alone.

Remember, marriage is not a fairytale with a happily ever after, or even just about a wedding. It is a legally binding union of two individuals working toward the same goal, through the best of times and more so, the worst of times. At the end of the day, emotional maturity is the one aspect most people neglect to consider once they've saved for their egg nest, gotten the in-laws' approval, or appeased everyone's expectations.

In essence, marriage in itself is a perfect concept. However, as no one is perfect, we bring flaws into the marriage. It is up to both of you to work at those and create your own fairytale...whatever that may be.

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