1. "My ex-girlfriend was absolutely having an emotional affair."
"Beyond the obvious stuff, like it being painful and making me feel angry, it was frustrating. There's this term that gets thrown around a lot: gaslighting. And that's what my ex did to me. She kept flipping it on me every time I accused her of having feelings for or spending too much time around this other guy. My gut was telling me this was a problem because she also got very distant with me, but she had me thinking I was crazy or paranoid. That's what was so brutal. I don't know why she didn't just break up with me other than that we lived together, honestly. By the time I found out they were dating months later (they're now married), I just felt vindicated. Like, 'Okay, that relationship really wasn't on me. I wasn't the problem.' I would've rather she just came clean about it." —Kevin, 27
2. "She cheated on me a lot apparently, and I was totally oblivious."
"It made me paranoid for a while. I had trust issues afterward. We actually hadn't been dating that long, and if I found out she slept with some other guy just once, I probably would've been able to move on. But it was the frequency. I took a break from dating anyone seriously. I can see how it could make someone really bitter and angry and distrustful. If this was a long-term relationship, I don't know that I would've bounced back as fast as I did. I only say that because it's something I still think about sometimes… what if I hadn't found out when I did?"—Derrick, 26
3. "I was in a terrible relationship where we both cheated constantly."
"I swear, the only reason we didn't break up was that we wanted to get back at the other person and it was just a constant cycle. Also, the sex was good, and by the end, it was basically like being in an open relationship where we fought all the time."—Corey, 28
4. "Being cheated on was the best thing to ever happen to me."
"I was depressed for a year, but the relationship was toxic. I didn't realize until I was out of it, but in hindsight, I'm glad things happened the way they did." —Brandon, 29
5. "There's this saying…if they cheat with you, they'll cheat on you."
"I found that to be true. I started hanging out with someone who had a boyfriend. We started dating, and then she officially broke up with her other boyfriend. A year later, she did the same thing to me. It sucked. I had it coming, but it sucked." —Matt, 28
6. "I had a long-term girlfriend cheat on me."
"We dated through high school, and she basically started seeing someone else when we both went off to different colleges. It fucked me up for a while. My next two years of college were just lots of one night stands and me basically looking for any reason not to get into a relationship. It wasn't like my thought process went as far as 'all women are evil' or anything like that. But I definitely felt like I can't get hurt if I don't give someone another opportunity to hurt me. Which is probably cliche. But she left me with a lot of baggage." —Rob, 27
7. "It was fine."
"I mean, I wouldn't ever wish for it to happen, but thank god it did. I remember seeing it on her phone and it was like the part of my brain that cared about her just shorted out. I was done. I told her it was over and walked out. Never looked back. Never needed closure."—Nathan, 28
8. "I'd never make excuses because cheating is always shitty."
"Not to defend my ex, but I was basically checked out at the point she started cheating. Looking back, I was in a really bad spot and working too much and hating my job and I was probably a shitty boyfriend. So it sucked, but I don't still harbor any ill will towards her." —Eric, 29
9. "We tried to work through it."
"It was the 'mature' and 'reasonable' thing to do, and I really did love her and want to be with her. But I felt like a doormat the whole time and like the trust was gone. Maybe that's on me to some extent. That I can't like, process my feelings or get over it. But the relationship just felt hollow afterward. I broke up with her after a few months." —Tyler, 26
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.