If you've kept up to date with It's Showtime!'s latest developments, then you probably have heard of Expecially For You, a segment in the show where guests try their luck in finding new love. It comes with an exciting twist, though–which is that the player's ex also makes an appearance to help their former flame choose a potential love interest among the searchees. Eep, juicy!
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One episode made quite the buzz when it featured exes who had a complicated past—the guy being the one who ~*ghosted*~ his ex-girlfriend. In the episode, he explained the reason behind his past action, saying it was because he couldn't take their differences in social status anymore. "Kasi sa social status pa lang natin, kumbaga langit ka, lupa ako, mayaman ka, mahirap ako. Lahat ng pinang-e-effort ko sayo nun, lahat ng ginagastos ko nun, it's either hard-earned money ko from construction working, or inuutang ko sa mga tropa ko, or yun yung binibigay na consolation prizes 'pag may pageant. Tapos, pinakamasakit kasi yung inisip ko kagad yung negative na huhusgahan ako ng magulang mo, na pag nalaman na eto lang ako, paghiwalayin tayo, so inunahan ko na."
Don't get us wrong, there's no excuse for ghosting. We're adults so we should be gracious when bidding others goodbye (here are some kind words to say to help you exit the right way, in case you need help!). But the ex-couple's situation just pulled back the curtains on the topic of dating someone below your income level. Sometimes, women make more money than their male partners—that's just a fact!
Is it acceptable and does it play a significant factor in relationships? That's another story. Especially in this economy, it's safe to say that financial security is one topic of conversation that most couples should discuss before committing long-term. If you find yourself in the same situation, then here are some tips on how to handle a relationship with someone who earns less money than you do.
What should I do if my boyfriend earns less money than I do?
1. Recognize and respect your differences.
Acknowledge that financial backgrounds shape perspectives and lifestyles. Respect your partner's experiences and values, even if they differ from yours. Understanding each other's financial situations without judgment lays a strong foundation for trust and mutual respect. Sure, money is important—but if you solely judge people based on their job status, you might miss out on some truly wonderful relationships.
2. Communicate openly.
Honest communication is key in any relationship, especially in finances. Discuss your individual financial goals, values, and expectations openly and without fear of judgment. Transparency about your financial situation, including income, debt, and spending habits, fosters trust and prevents misunderstandings.
3. Set realistic expectations.
Be realistic about what you can afford and what your partner can contribute. While it's important to enjoy activities together, prioritize experiences that align with both of your financial realities. Plan dates and outings that are enjoyable and within your combined budget to avoid placing undue financial strain on either party. Want to go on that couples' trip to Singapore but are well aware of your S.O.'s breadwinner duties? You need to compromise and prioritize activities that won't break the bank.
4. Practice empathy and understanding.
Empathy is essential in understanding your S.O.'s financial situation. Put yourself in your partner's shoes and try to understand their perspective. Be sensitive to their financial challenges and offer support without condescension. Likewise, be receptive to your partner's support and contributions, whether financial or otherwise. Money is hard to earn these days, so make sure to appreciate your partner's efforts—especially if they save up for a gift or romantic gesture.
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5. Focus on shared values and interests.
While financial differences may exist, focus on the shared values, interests, and goals that brought you together. Build your connection on common ground, such as shared hobbies, beliefs, and aspirations, rather than solely on financial compatibility. Cultivating a strong emotional bond strengthens the foundation of your relationship.
6. Avoid power dynamics.
Be mindful of power dynamics that may arise from financial discrepancies or income gaps. Strive for equality and mutual respect in decision-making, regardless of income. Avoid using money as a measure of control or superiority in the relationship. Wag mag-bilangan. Both partners should feel valued and empowered to contribute in their own ways.
7. Support each other's goals.
Encourage and support each other's personal and financial goals. Whether it's pursuing higher education, advancing in a career, or saving for the future, celebrate each other's achievements and provide support where needed. A supportive partner can be a powerful motivator for success.
8. Plan for the future together.
Discuss your long-term financial goals and aspirations as a couple. Create a shared vision for your future and strategize how you can work together to achieve it. Whether it's saving for a home, starting a family, or traveling the world, collaborate on financial planning and decision-making to build a secure and fulfilling future together.
The TL;DR of dating someone who makes less money than you do
Dating someone from a different income level presents unique opportunities for growth and connection. By fostering open communication, empathy, and mutual respect, couples can navigate financial differences and build a strong and fulfilling relationship based on love, trust, and shared values. Take a hard look at the person, and think if that's who you want to be waking up next to, 15 years, 40 years from now. If he is, then income differential—whether temporary or long-term—is only as important as you allow it to be. And if things don't work out, walk away with grace and refrain from ghosting, please.