Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now

Cosmo.ph columnist Bianca Valerio gets real on the futility of finding the "The One", and urges you to give the man of the moment a chance.

Mr. Right…

…You may also know him as Santa Claus, the Boogeyman, Cupid, or Star Wars’ Yoda: they simply don’t exist.

We hate to burst your bubble, but as wonderful as “Mr. Right” sounds, he is merely a fictional character our parents (God bless ‘em), fairytales, romance novels, and chick flicks like The Notebook have cleverly engrained in our subconscious. As a result, the psychological torture has left us with a yearning that no amount of retail therapy, weekends at a luxurious spa, or Vegas buffets can suffice.

Then of course, there’s Mr. Right Now.

Unfortunately, he can’t seem to make it big in Hollywood because he just doesn’t have the same impact of “forever” as Mr. Right. Go figure.

However, as they say, never undermine the underdog.

Here are some reasons why Mr. Right Now is actually a serious contender in the race to finding “The One”:

1. The fact that no one is perfect, how can we ever impose such a benchmark of being Mr. Right on a single human being? It only sets us up for full-on disappointment as we always look at men half-empty rather than half-full.

2. Likewise, is that the kind of pressure you wish for a man to place on you? Imagine this: wifey material who cooks, cleans, and attends to all his needs.

Lest we forget, bears his children, takes care of them while he’s working or playing ball with the guys, then after a long day, managing to look like a Victoria’s Secret supermodel ready to pounce on him with the energy of an 18-yr old and without feeling the need to discuss “feelings” after a passionate sack sesh.

Not so happily ever after all, ‘eh?

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Salmon Fishing In The Yemen

3. Oftentimes, we place so much focus on the idea of Mr. Right that we miss out on the little things that Mr. Right Now is offering at our doorstep. He may not have all the prerequisites of our dream guy, but admit it: he actually is imperfectly perfect in our eyes. Are we catching you doing a double-take?

4. It’s in our nature to want the things we cannot have. When our greediness takes over, we can never be content with the joys of now as we’re busy being consumed with the idea of something hopefully even better tomorrow.

Question is: what if there isn’t a tomorrow? No more so-called "nth" chances?

Take this analogy: when it comes to shopping, we can’t wait to buy the one thing we want the most. That even if a friend says to sleep on it as something better might come along, our stubborn response is always, “But I just know there won’t be anything like it so I need to have it now.” Then why not apply the same attitude towards Mr. Right Now--as he just might not be there tomorrow?

Attention: This is your final call on that must-have go-to-guy. Go get ‘em!

5. We are constantly evolving individuals. What we want today may not be what we want and/or need tomorrow. So technically, the epitome of Mr. Right is also ever-changing. Whereas Mr. Right Now is on-trend, current, and fits the peg of our current lifestyle or--heaven forbid--Facebook status.

 

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Salmon Fishing In The Yemen

6. Say Mr. Right was the destination and Mr. Right Now is the journey. You know where we’re going with this, right? AKA, reaching the “Big O” is one hell of a touchdown, but the fantastic foreplay that led to it is a whole other ball game, is it not? And on a seriously drunken night, reaching orgasm is just sometimes the impossible dream, but does that make the intoxicated make-out madness less mind-blowing? We didn’t think so either.

7. It is believed that God brings people into our lives for a moment or a lifetime to teach us something. Whether they were good or bad, for a moment in time, they meant something to us as they brought another dimension into our lives and have made us into the people we are today.

So why push away the potential forever just because we don’t deem it as such, right now?

We truly have it in us to turn the magic of the present moment into forever. But of course, as with all relationships and aspirations, it takes work on a daily basis: a conscious effort to turn each day into a week, a month, a year…a lifetime.

Poet Emily Dickenson wrote, “Forever is composed of nows…”

Have you found your Mr. Right Now?

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