Recognizing when a relationship has run its course can be difficult, but it's crucial for your health and happiness—and that doesn't just go for romantic relationships. Friendship breakups can, arguably, be worse than actual relationship breakups, and there's no set script for when it comes to dumping a friend.
So, how can you tell that it's time to consider actually ending a friendship? There are a whole range of red flags, from them avoiding you, to the prospect of seeing them feeling more like a chore than something you enjoy.
That being said, remember that if someone's avoiding you, it might not be your friendship that's the problem. There could be other reasons behind it, like their mental health, work or family, so check in with them first. However, if you feel like a friend is toxic, don't be afraid to cut them out of your life.
Here, these 15 women share how they knew their friendship was dying.
- "You avoid opening their messages right away. Conversations feel awkward and forced. You don't miss them when you haven't seen them in a while. You realize you don't really know what's going on in their life anymore, but also don't really care to ask." [via]
- "Hanging out with them feels more like a chore than a treat." [via]
- "I realized it when I kept leaving our interactions feeling annoyed." [via]
- "Feeling like they are mad at you but when you confront them and ask what's going on, they shrug and say no and change the subject. They keep acting weirdly cagey and phoney around you. They have no ability to be happy for your success they just get jealous or try to one up you." [via]
- "Conversations change in a way that they feel unnatural and like you're wasting the person's time. The person ghosts you, constantly cancels or tries to change plans with obvious made up excuses. Differences in opinion suddenly become reasons to be rude to the other person." [via]
- "This is a more niche one but I still think it's a good sign—they stop sending you posts on Instagram in favor of other people. You know you're not the first thought on their mind anymore." [via]
- "Repetitive conversation, avoidance, and unequal signs of appreciation." [via]
- "When you try to make plans with them and they're always 'busy' yet you see them going out with your other friends. You know they're selective about your texts—when you ask for something important, they reply instantly, but when you ask to call or hang out they take hours or never reply. They leave you on read all the time." [via]
- "When you don't want to do favors for them or make a special effort because you feel like they don't deserve it, or you feel like your efforts wouldn't be appreciated or even noticed." [via]
- "You're the last to find out anything. They flake on your hangouts. They don't sound excited to speak with you. It feels forced." [via]
- "When they have more loathing things to say then loving." [via]
- "They never reach out to even see how you are. You realize you're always the one to text first and when you stop messaging first to test your theory of one-sidedness, months go by without any contact, but you know they've gone out and made plans with other people." [via]
- "When you outgrow them, which I think is when you no longer have the same interests and have a completely different group of friends, and you're only clinging onto the memories of your friendship back in the good ol' days." [via]
- "Underlying resentment and more frequent misunderstandings. When being around them makes you feel lonely." [via]
- "When you find yourself actively looking for excuses to end the friendship." [via]
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com/uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.