Things You Know To Be True If You're Always Late

You've missed SO many restaurant reservations.
PHOTO: Nick Onken

1. Your date will get frustrated as hell the first few times they meet up with you.

Sure, the first time you're 15 minutes late, they just chill and reread the menu. The next few times, they begrudgingly order (and finish) a beer by the time you sprint in with your expected "OMG, so sorry, hope you didn't wait too long!" fare.

2. If you end up dating long-term, your S.O. will start calling you out on it ~all the time~.

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Not that you don't completely deserve it, but ugh, do they even know you?

3. Your partner will learn to do their own math when meeting up with you.

This may or may not involve some white lies about the movie starting at 7:15 when it's an 8 p.m. show time.

4. After a while, your S.O. will start trying to be late, aka on your time.

Except they will still get there earlier than you somehow. So they'll just go back to being early/on actual time and scrolling through Twitter while they wait for your untimely ass.

5. Leaving together = them inevitably waiting impatiently as you finish your makeup.

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They see you're dressed and packed up, so they foolishly assume you're ready to go. Except LOL, silly boy, I have makeup to do.

6. You have absolutely messed up restaurant reservations.

Having to wait an extra hour isn't enough to change your ways though.

7. You always end up with the crane-your-neck, front-front-row seats at the movies.

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Congrats, you've crushed their dream of snuggling in the much more private and ~romantic~ back row.

8. You make your partner especially nervous when you have to do something big, like fly together.

Knowing you and your ways, they miiiight overdo the timing a little. You'll both end up at the airport four hours before your flight and spend a fortune on overpriced airport food.

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9. If your phone dies, it is a minor catastrophe.

The digital era enables us to be our worst selves by texting our S.O.s updates like "5 more min!," and "2 more min!," and "jk, 10 more min!" BUT IF YOUR PHONE DIES (which, thanks to that Apple update, it 100 percent will), let's be real: You have no idea what your boyfriend's phone number actually is or the exact spot you agreed to meet, so that's another 20 to 40 minutes of waiting!

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10. Whenever you're earlier than they expected, your partner is extra into you.*

*To be clear, you are still late, but objectively early for your usual late time, so you get a really affectionate cheek kiss out of it!

11. You make an effort to be better, except you end up getting places way too early and go back to your tardy ways.

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What are you supposed to do for the extra 10 minutes? Be alone with your thoughts? No.

12. You definitely wonder why your time management skills are so off.

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Especially when you know it drives the naturally punctual person you love a bit crazy.

13. But luckily, your bae embraces your lateness, especially when they see you're kind of working on it

14. Because you are who you are, which is literally always 10-plus minutes late.


This article originally appeared on Minor edits have been made by the editors.

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