"Babe, don’t come too soon, okay?"
"OMG that feels so good. Yes, Mark, do it again…I mean Pat. Yes, Pat."
Yeah, NEVER say your ex’s name while having sex with your current partner.
"What are you waiting for? Is it in already? Oh, it is…Ok."
Yes, it's been in for the past 5 minutes and you totally busted his balls right there.
"Oh yes, yes…Do it like Channing Tatum! Adam Levine! Brad Pitt!"
Now he knows you're picturing having sex with a celebrity and not him.
"I wonder what I should wear to the dinner tomorrow. What? No, I am enjoying this. I was just thinking out loud."
Well, it is getting kinda boring. Maybe it's time you try another position.
"I’m so mad at you! Why were you checking out that chick in the mall?"
Picking a fight mid-sex? Not the best idea.
"Oops...I just farted."
TMI. He was probably pretending not to notice.
"Aww, your penis is so cute."
FYI, no guy wants his penis to be "cute."
"By the way, I might get my period tonight."
All he can think about now is BLOOD. Everywhere. Goodbye erection.
"Let's just get this over with."
Oh I'm sorry, do you have more important things to do?