When I think of the word "soulmate" I think of that one scene in The Notebook when Noah says to Allie: "It's not going to be easy, it's going to be really hard, and we're going to have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day."
Sorry for the disgustingly earnest commentary, but the fact that they wanted each other after alllll those years apart (and even despite Ryan Gosling's untamed beard) truly encapsulates what it means to find your soulmate.
Now, your definition of a soul mate might be different than mine. You might believe in something more like a twin flame sign (which is said to only be one person, as opposed to having multiple soul mates), or just seriously hate The Notebook in general (we can agree to disagree on your poor taste in movies). But to really answer the question "What does it feel like to find your soul mate?" we spoke with 12 women who talk about the definitive moment they met theirs. Get the tissues out, peeps.
- "Unexpectedly, I ended up at the circus after receiving a free ticket. Morgan was working security at the door, an unusual placement for her, as she was often in the midst of things as an experienced guard. She noticed me walking through the magnetometer in my short red sweater dress and thigh high boots. A few days later, Morgan came across my photo in a queer Facebook group and messaged me. It's been nearly four years now, and we are engaged to be married." -Chaya, 24
- "I knew he was my soulmate when he was so nervous on the first date that he ordered an entire bottle of wine for himself after the owner informed him it doesn't come by the glass. My social awkwardness and anxiety had met its match. We were engaged three months later and are celebrating six years of marriage this year." -Nataliya, 32
- "I knew I met my soulmate for the first time when we were alone together, in silence, at the top of the city. There was nobody else around and I felt I could spend my whole life in that cold, windy place if he was with me. It was a bonding moment. That's when I understood I wanted to be with a person who lets me be myself the way I am—crazy, funny, with no makeup, or wearing party clothes. He feels the same way about me and we're planning to spend a long life together." -Sirapi, 27
- "Brian shows me over and over again how he's my person. One of the moments that stands out to me is when my grandfather passed away. Brian was out of state on a weekend camping trip with his buddies. When he heard what happened, he immediately flew to my home state with literally just the clothes on his back, which were his camping Khaki shorts, sneakers, and a T-shirt. I remember him running toward me in baggage claim at the Detroit airport, and I just burst into tears. I'll never forget that moment, or the many moments since then, when he makes me feel so taken care of, supported, and deeply loved." -Katelyn, 32
- "When I originally met my husband (now married over nine years), I felt a deep connection that I couldn't explain. About a week into our relationship, he went over and above to organize a special birthday party for me—dropping everything in his calendar to try and give me something unique and memorable. It was one of the traits that showed he was *the one* for me!" -Jordan, 34
- "I knew my boyfriend was my soulmate when I realized he had flaws but I loved those, too." -Lana, 29
- "I think it's the first time he played one of his songs for me. It was just him and an acoustic guitar. It was the most beautiful thing that music just came out of him; it felt like home was going wherever he was. Now we create music together, and sharing our story night after night with audiences is the most amazing feeling. I fall in love all over again, every time." -Veronica, 40
- "He ordered a chocolate shake and a grilled cheese for an appetizer on one of our first dates." -Kat, 34
- "I believe soulmates don't necessarily have to be romantic, as I found mine in a best friend. When I first met her in high school, I was slightly put off by her. I realize now that it's because she was a reflection of me. As time went on, we could share every thought we had, no matter how outlandish. Talking to her made me think in different ways, and we effortlessly had deep conversations about everything from music, to how reality is subjective. People on the outside didn't get it, but for us, everything just fit together perfectly. To this day, although we live on opposite ends of the country, we still feel connected in a way that feels infinite. It's more than friendship and it's different than romantic love. The only way I can think to describe it is that my spirit feels like it's looking in a mirror." -Erin, 26
- "Being together made me feel like I was never missing out on anything else going on around me. It was okay for me to be late to the party because I showed up with him. It was okay for me to stay in for the weekend because he came over. It was okay to miss out on other things because I had him—it is always better with him. I'm not saying that you should blow off everything to only focus on your S.O., I'm saying that you rarely get FOMO when you are with the person that makes every experience, event, and moment better." -Maddie, 25
- "In college, I saw a cute guy playing guitar in the quad. I jokingly sent a note saying 'Hey, cute guitar guy, you should take me for coffee. XO, the girl with the pretty hair.' And as soon as we talked in person, I knew he was the one. It was like I'd known him my whole life. He came over for coffee and never left. We're coming up on five years married (in February) and I wouldn't change a thing." -Amanda, 26
- "I knew I found my soulmate when I was the first one he thought of contacting when he had suicidal thoughts. He chose me to confess his weirdest, deepest, darkest thoughts. At that point, I knew I meant to him what he meant to me, and that we are each other's 'person.'" -Yousra, 20
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.