Before you start to get all defensive about some of these things, I want to preface this by telling you that I too am nearing the age of 30 and this whole process has been a confronting one for me as well. But you know what they say: "You gotta be cruel to be kind." Getting older is something we should be embracing, not pretending like it isn't happening. So here are 30 things you need to let go of before the big 3-0.
1. Tired bras and undies
Broken underwires, stretched elastic and school girl prints aren't going to do you any favors as gravity starts to take its toll. It's time to get your boobs fitted by a professional and invest in panties that will make you feel a million bucks…even if no one is looking.
2. Clothes that don't fit
Denial is the enemy. If it doesn't fit you like a glove, pass it on to someone else.
3. Clothes that need fixing/altering
Because if you broke something in your early 20s and you're about to hit your early 30s, chances are you're NEVER going to get that thing fixed.
4. Your school formal dresses
YOU WILL NEVER WEAR THESE AGAIN AND YOUR UNBORN CHILDREN DON'T CARE.
5. Stockings with holes
Just go get some more!
6. Old tarnished/rusted costume jewelry that turns your skin green
It's time to let go of the fake jewelry that causes your skin to change color. Invest in some quality pieces that are timeless and stain-free.
7. Ill-fitting jeans
At this point in your life you should be looking for clothes that ENHANCE your figure. A pair of jeans that sag at the bum and cut in on your hips are doing you ZERO favors. Go to a proper denim store, get fitted by a professional, never look back.
8. The fast-fashion trend items that were cool six years ago
It always seems like a good idea at the time because it looks amazing in the front window and the sales girl who is wearing it said it was AWESOME, but let me tell you something: that girl doesn't care about you the way I do.
9. Cheap handbags and purses
If it isn't made of real leather, or at least a super amazing quality vegan leather (I'm talking Stella McCartney style) you need to throw it away. You aren't at school anymore.
10. Shoes that are falling apart
I am particularly picturing stinky disgusting ballet flats when I say this. If the heels have worn through, the soles are non-existent, the sides don't cling to your feet anymore and you can literally feel the pavement underneath your toes, then you need to throw them in the bin.
11. Anything offensive
I get it, I too once cut all of my hair off and pierced my nipple in an act of liberation. But wearing t-shirts that tell people to f*ck off just isn't funny when you're a grown up.
12. Excessively sheer items
I know we always celebrate celebrities that do the whole visible undies under their ball gowns thing, but that is them and this is us. Your partner's friend's husband's boss does NOT want to see your bra, your navel, your undies or all three at once.
13. Unflattering silhouettes
You've been acquainted with your body shape for some time now, so you really should know what shapes suit you and what don't. Just because all of the cool kids say it's cool, does not mean it's cool for you.
14. ANYTHING your ex-ex-ex-boyfriend gave you (or reminds you of him)
You've both moved on, and so should your wardrobe.
15. Old bridesmaid dresses
16. Clothes that you bought while you were on holiday
Island style is easy to fall into when you're on an actual island, but you can't be wearing that printed kaftan and those sea-shell sandals to the city, okay? Welcome back to the real world.
17. Tights as pants/jeggings
I'm just going to be straight up with you, these were never a good idea. Not when you were 20, not when you were 25 and definitely not when you are 30.
18. Workout tights that are too tight or worn in
How to test: If we can see your arse when you downward dog, these are no longer acceptable.
19. Anything that has shrunk in the wash
Uneven hemlines and wonky seams are a dead giveaway you bought that t-shirt for cheap and it went out of shape straight after the first wash. Invest in better basics. And read the washing instructions.
20. Any of your whites that just aren't white anymore
Whether due to yellow stains you pretend that don't exist, or because you washed them one too many times with your black jeans and they have now turned gray. If your whites ain't bright, let them go.
21. Pants made with lamé
Shine on you shall not.
22. Socks that literally scratch you when you put them on
Much like underwear and bras, socks have a shelf life. If they literally HURT when you slide your foot into them, it's time to upgrade. The plus side of this is that when you put on a fresh pair of new socks you will literally melt into a puddle of comfort that you never knew existed.
23. Party outfits you're holding on to "just in case"
Unless you have kids and you can turn these into some kind of fun dressing-up-box situation, these items are literally just taking up precious wardrobe space.
24. Shoes you've been trying to break in for the last five years
Face it, they're never going to give.
25. Anything that still has the tag on it
BUY SOMETHING YOU'LL ACTUALLY WEAR!
26. Peplum miniskirts
I don't know why I hate these so much but I do. This is actually a secret campaign to rid the entire world of peplum miniskirts.
27. Knits that have pilled or clumped beyond repair
If it literally looks as though your jumper has grown an extra species on it throw it in the bin. Don't even try to hand it down.
28. Anything fake
I once bought myself a fake Louis Vuitton wallet from some guy on the sidewalk in New York when I was 17. He told me it was real. I believed him. I repeat I WAS SEVENTEEN. If you can't afford the real thing at 30 (like most of us), don't even attempt to pretend. You're fooling no one.
29. Your "leather" pants/skirt that have started to crack
Yes, I am being passive aggressive here. Those quotation marks are insinuating that your leather pants/skirts are actually plastic. Leather doesn't crack. We see right through you.
30. Colored/patterned tights
TBH, colored or patterned tights only look cute on people under five years old, and even then you should probably ask yourself, "What would North West do?"
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com.au. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.