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Michelle Phan Opens Up About Going Through Depression

The beauty guru opens up about the disappointment of Em Cosmetics.
PHOTO: Getty

Last week, Forbes announced its first-ever global list of top influencers and, despite being off the grid for much of 2016, OG beauty YouTuber Michelle Phan took the No. 2 spot.

Phan, one of the most successful beauty YouTube stars with covers on both Forbes and Nylon magazines last year, admitted to Racked that in the midst of all her success, she was depressed and needed time to escape.

"I completely disappeared, I just left. I stopped uploading to YouTube," she said. Some of her eight million loyal subscribers noticed her absence and left worried comments on her page. 

She went on to say, "I peaced out because I think I was going through depression. I don't know because I didn't go to a hospital or anything or get diagnosed, but I was taking a few quizzes online and I felt really sad everyday... I was waking up feeling so broken. I didn't know why."

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Though Phan does not explicitly explain the cause of her depression, her step back followed the news that her highly anticipated makeup line, Em Cosmetics, had not performed as expected.

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So, to get back on track, Phan spent the last year traveling, ~rediscovering~ herself, and reevaluating the direction for her business. Now she's ready to take another stab at Em!

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"I'm actually happy that Em didn't do well, because I’m happy that I own it," she said. "It is my makeup brand, it's not L’Oréal's makeup brand. It's not for me; it's for my viewers who have been there since the beginning."

The new revamped line of productsa much smaller selection than before with only eyeliner and liquid lipstickswill launch tomorrow on No word yet if her products will be available for international shipping!

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This article originally appeared on Minor edits have been made by the editors.