PRO: When applied to the face, semen has anti-aging effects, according to nuclear physicist and Nobel Prize winner Spin City actress and David Spade's ex-girlfriend Heather Locklear.
CON: Two Vice.com writers, one male and one female, tested out the jizz-as-moisturizer theory by applying it to one cheek and regular moisturizer to the other. While the effects were basically equal on the man, who determined that semen was slightly more effective, it wreaked havoc with the woman’s skin.
PRO: Semen is packed with protein, which tightens your skin while nourishing it with zinc, magnesium, calcium, potassium, and fructose. (Albeit small amounts of each.)
CON: Spermine is so intense that it can cause DNA damage, which is linked to cancer.
PRO: Cosmopolitan editor-in-chief Helen Gurley Brown was a super-big fan of the facial, as she wrote in her memoir I’m Wild Again: "Spread semen over your face, [it's] probably full of protein as sperm can eventually become babies. Makes a fine mask—and he'll be pleased." We believed you were wild again before you said that, Helen, but ayt.
PRO: Semen includes urea, found in pee, which is a natural toner.
CON: As you might expect, semen is rich in testosterone. Alas, topical application of excessive testosterone is one of the causes of acne. (The moisture from cunnilingus, however, provides your skin with estrogen, which is good.)
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor changes have been implemented by Cosmo.ph editors.