Someone broke your heart? Guess what? Screw that person! They don't deserve you! You are a queen (unless you are a king) and you deserve everything wonderful. And you will get it; don't worry. But first, you cry! You cry a lot. And you scream. And you then you get all romantic and nostalgic about the past, but then you take off your rose-colored glasses and see all the real problems in your relationship and realize that there's a better way. And then you get sad. And you get angry. And you fuck shit up. And you block them on all social media. And you cover yourself with all the blankets and you eat all the ice cream. And you watch these movies — all of them. That's an order!
The Other Woman
TBH, I firmly believe that even if you are not currently handling a split, The Other Woman is required viewing. You know, just in case you need a guide next time you, or anyone you know, happens to discover that their partner is a shady scammer.
How to Be Single
Let me guess. The second your relationship was officially over, your best friend most ready-to-rip-shots dragged you out to a club and tried to hurl you into a new life of partying. How to Be Single is a movie about just that, and Dakota Johnson (the recently dumped), handles her newfound single status probably as well as you do. (Read: not that well.)
Crazy, Stupid, Love
This movie is like The Oprah Winfrey Show of film. Everyone gets a breakup! No but seriously, Crazy, Stupid, Love has so many wonderful twists and turns, and some delightful Ryan Gosling shirtless scenes. Perhaps the biggest plot twist of this movie? The fact that “wait, is Steve Carell hot?” is a thought that might pass through your mind each time you watch.
To All The Boys I've Loved Before
Suffering a nasty breakup from a non-relationship relationship? Luckily, TATBILB is the perfect movie to pump your squashed little heart back up with joy. Maybe you really will find your own Peter Kavinsky someday!
Bridesmaids is the perfect breakup movie because it deals with approximately one million different kinds of loss. Kristen Wiig’s character, Annie, loses her relationship, her business, her freedom, and, for a hot second, her best friend. If your broken-hearted self can’t LOL at this Judd Apatow-produced masterpiece, you may never laugh again. (I’m kidding! I’m sorry!)
Silver Linings Playbook
Do you feel like bawling your eyes out while Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper try to heal their broken hearts and also do a bit of dancing? Well then, this just might be the breakup solution for you, even though the plot is super duper predictable.
...Does this one even need an explanation? As cliché as it sounds, maybe you aren’t really that sad. Maybe you just need to feel things. Male strippers may not be the cure to a broken heart, but this film is certainly worth a shot.
How Stella Got Her Groove Back
Two words: Winston. Shakespeare. That is all. Plus, Angela Bassett is magic as Stella, the crystal-clear water of Jamaica, and pressing pause on your busy life to prioritize what's important. You're all about reprioritizing right now, so this movie is perfect for you.
Under the Tuscan Sun
Diane Lane gets her groove back in the Italian countryside with a broken-ass house and a fine-ass man. This is not so wrong. It is, in fact, very right. Plus, Diane Lane makes everything better and this is no exception. If I could send you an actual hug from Diane Lane right now, your breakup blues would be cured. Consider this a second best.
Bridget Jones's Diary
Bridget Jones is the human embodiment of a breakup, so this movie will either comfort you or make you cry forever. Two things you're gonna need during a breakup: your box of Tesco (or, uh, tub of Ben & Jerry's, if you're here in the States!) and your Whitney Houston. Grab 'em and get to mourning.
John Tucker Must Die
Three ex-girlfriends of a serial cheater hunt his ass down and ruin his life. So satisfying. It's a damn shame this movie has a stereotypical happy ending for the dude, but that's Hollywood for you!!! If you wanted to turn this off about 20 minutes before the end, I would not begrudge you that decision.
Pride and Prejudice
The original Bridget Jones! Oh, this movie is just about perfect. The quintessential Jane Austen novel translated for the screen; it'll make you hate that snake in the grass who did this to you and long for a Mr. Darcy of your very own. Besides, if Elizabeth Bennett and Darcy don't make you believe in trying for true love again, I can't help you.
It's got all the chocolate and the French countryside, what more do you need? The correct answer is: a bottle of wine, a therapy dog, a candy bar, and all the tissues.
Gwyneth Paltrow at her Gwyniest best. She plays a woman whose life is split into two different timelines when she misses a train. It's not a great movie, but it's so easy to watch, and you will cheer when she throws her cheating piece of shit man to the left not once, but twice! Get it, Gwynnie!
A record shop owner tells the story of his many breakups set to a variety of excellent songs. Although the movie is, ultimately, a love story, there are so many good breakups along the way, it works. The major lesson here is: You will have many, many breakups in your life, and you're gonna be all right.
OK, this movie is so bad, but it's also so good. Two women swap houses and find true love in the arms of the men around them. It's cotton candy fluff and it's, like, 16 hours long, but what else do you have to do? The main bullshit part is that Cameron Diaz gets Jude Law, but then Kate Winslet gets Jack Black?! I mean, Jack Black is super great and even kinda cute, but it's just annoying that a woman as gorgeous as Kate Winslet can be paired with a dude who is essentially comic relief.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
This movie takes you from the lowest of lows, and then to an even lowlier place, and then lower still. I mean, our hero hits rock bottom. His ex-girlfriend follows up their breakup by dating a super-famous rock star! Oh yeah, and they're having loud, hot sex in the room next to him. It's torture. It's so much torture. But also, it's funny and sweet, and if this guy can get through his breakup, anyone can. You're gonna be OK! What a gift!
My Best Friend's Wedding
Julia Roberts is a total monster in this movie, and it is magnificent to live vicariously through her. Every time you want to do something stupid to your ex, just watch this movie instead. Oh, and while you're at it, block all his shit on your phone. Do it. Do it right now. Good job! Now go watch My Best Friend's Wedding again!
Elle Woods gets dumped and then becomes legally blonde. You do not need any further inspiration. She is your new everything. You are her, and she is you. Become Elle Woods. Become her.
A bloody, fucked up movie is a perfect place to put all your rage when you're still just a rat in the breakup cage. Or whatever. Basically, watch this and then take a kick boxing class and really kick the shit out of a punching bag. And then get out there and find a new somebody special — because that person is waiting for you, and they're way more glorious then the last dumb dumb you dated. You got this!
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.