1. McDreamy is dead.
The show is doing just fine without him—in many ways, it’s better than ever—but that doesn’t change the fact that Meredith’s soulmate was killed off without warning and she—you—were left to pick up the pieces.
2. You never know who’s next.
The list of dearly-departed is long: George O’Malley, Izzie Stevens, Preston Burke, McSteamy, Lexie Grey, Cristina Yang, Callie Torres. Not all of them were 007-ed, but they are gone nonetheless.
3. Cristina Yang is not someone you can hang out with IRL.
Your best friend probably isn’t a cardiothoracic surgeon who can save lives after a night of drinking tequila. But does she know you’re the sun? Does she dance it out with you in your darkest hour? Then she’s your person.
4. You regret not becoming a surgeon.
Surgeons have so much sex! And, you know, they help people. Remember that first time Derek tied on his ferryboat scrub cap and you thought, "It is a beautiful day to save lives," as you googled the cost of med school? Your life choices were all wrong.
5. You’re convinced you have a rare disease from seasons 4, 2, 8, 11, etc.
Yep, you’re definitely suffering from Superior Canal Dehiscence Syndrome. Who needs WebMD when you fictional TV doctors diagnosing you every Thursday?
6. "Where have I seen that person before?"
The guest stars are one of the show’s many delights—until you go crazy trying to place one of them.
7. The interns.
They make up a revolving door of characters you only kind of care about and you can never remember their names.
8. The spoiler police.
People bingeing the show for the first time on Netflix have the nerve to think "Denny’s dead" is a spoiler. He died in 2006. You cannot be mad.
9. Shipping Meredith and Alex.
Does it feel good to want them together? Not exactly (#RIP McDreamy). But deep down you know you do. Theory on how it’ll finally happen: Cristina will return for a visit, see the two of them together, and be like, "He’s not your person, you idiot—you’re in love with him."
10. All the crying.
Even the happy episodes wreck you. "Oh my god, the baby lived! [sobs forever]."
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.