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18 Thoughts Every Woman Has When Working Out With A Male Trainer

'There's no way I can ask if he has a girlfriend. It would seem like I'm coming onto him. But I'm genuinely just curious.'
PHOTO: Nick Onken

1. I definitely should've shaved my armpits.
And probably my legs too.


2. I wonder if he thinks I'm fit?
Not sexy-fit, but fit-fit. I held that last plank for AGES.

3. I wonder if he has a girlfriend?
There's no way I can ask. It would seem like I'm coming onto him. But I'm genuinely just curious.

4. If so, does she get jealous?
In the last five minutes he's touched my bum, thighs and given me two high fives. I'd probably be a little jealous if I were her. If she exists.

5. Maybe he's gay.
It would make those bent over rows where my boobs are basically falling out way easier. 

6. Is he actually hot or just gym-hot?
If I saw him on the street and couldn't see his muscles, would I think twice?


7. Has he ever hooked up with any of his clients?
It must happen.

8. If I don't fart now, I'm going to explode.
Literally. Those squats are just asking for it. How am I going to handle this?

9. I can smell his sweat. Yuck.
Can he smell mine?!

10. I wonder how much he earns?
I can do the math, actually. Almost P4,000 per session, times maybe five clients a day? That's a lot. Maybe I should become a personal trainer. I could do this job.

11. On second thought, I can barely manage 5 push ups. I cannot do this job.
Although, HE hasn't done much working out yet. I could totally stand there and yell "Five more burpees!"

12. Does he get paid more than a woman?
I really hope not.


13. Maybe I should start seeing a female trainer?
For the sisterhood. I'm gonna look into that.

14. I'm so jealous of that girl on the treadmill.
She's rocking out to her music at her own pace, no one's bossing her around, and she's having way more fun than me. Waaah!

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15. BUT I'm working way harder.
These one-legged squats have got to be a godsend for my legs and ass. Glutes on fleek!

16. What does he looks like in normal, non-lycra clothes?
I bet it's like when you bumped into your teacher in the supermarket outside of school. Creepy.

17. Would he recognize me outside the gym?
Like, with normal clothes on and clean hair. Probably not.

18. I need to HIDE!
My old personal trainer is over there and he's going to see me with this new dude and act like I'm cheating on him. Sorry bro, but you weren't free on Tuesday nights. 

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.co.uk. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.