1. Now that you pay rent and bills, you know that raising you was expensive. Yeah, cable is a lot each month and, yeah, paying rent is killing you very slowly, but all that pales in comparison to school and doctors and any other necessary expense that kept you alive until you were 18 years old.
2. She is so much stronger and more selfless than you thought she was. Now that you're all, "I'm gonna eat cheese for dinner and not talk to anyone for 48 hours on weekends because I am my own woman," it's so much more admirable to you that she raised a person despite the overwhelming cheese urges you now know all grown-ups have.
3. Yet, just like you, she has her moments of "What is life and can I just not?" Take the stresses you have (money, friends being weird, whether or not you are living your best life every day) and double those. Your mom is probably very secure in who she is by this point, but even the most solid of women are bound to crack wondering if they've done everything in their power to be happy.
4. She's been through so many things you don't even know about. She's been single, unemployed, broke, and broken at some point or another, and you never even knew it until now because she never complained about it to you in your moments of adolescent crises. But know that her advice is real.
5. Her advice that always used to make you roll your eyes is actually really valuable. For example: "Good things come to those who wait." And "Bad things happen to good people." And "This too shall pass." And every other clichéd expression of hers you hated throughout your angsty teen years. Basically, she was always right and you should've listened to her.
6. Having fewer amazing friends is so much better than having lots of meh ones. She knew way before you did that quality over quantity was way better in the whole friends arena. If you haven't realized this yet, consider your mom. Does she have 13 BFFs? Nah. She's got three people she adores and gets wine-drunk with every month or so. It's better that way, bro.
7. She has a life outside of you! It includes, but is not limited to, her aforementioned wine friends, Facebook, reading articles in the paper she meant to send you but forgot about because she saw something about Annie's son on Facebook, and working her ass off to prepare for retirement. Don't take it personally. You're great and all, but she's got shit to do.
8. For all the things she was right about, there were a few she was totally wrong about too. Maybe you haaated her and the fact that she was so not chill about you drinking in high school. Maybe you understood it. Regardless, you might realize in hindsight that it pushed you toward alcohol way faster; and that when you do the whole mom thing, you might do that part differently. It's not a bad thing—it just is.
9. The reason she's able to be maddeningly cool about the shit that still pisses you off? ~*PeRsPeCtIvE*~. She's learned that things like train delays and turbulence and natural disasters are beyond her control. You'll learn it too—and one day be able to be as calm as her when someone delays your business trip for eight hours—but it takes time.
10. E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E.'s got problems. Now that you are your own fabulous-yet-flawed person, you're able to see through Mom Armor and to see someone who was maybe always impatient, loud, and stressed. Being an adult means knowing that all humans, even the ones with the best Instagrams, are stressed and weird.
11. Repeat after me: "I am not the same person as my mother." Sure, you might catch yourself dropping a few of her Yiddishisms sometimes and you might make the same exact face when you're angry, but your twentysomething life looks way different than hers did way back when. That automatically lays the groundwork for a very different life.
12. Mom ≠ best friend. Best friend ≠ mom. It's cool that you can tell your mom everything and most of the time you do, but there is a time and a place for everything. The mornings you are so hungover you need two egg sandwiches and to talk about how hot your sex was last night? That's best friend time. Later that night when you need real soul food and to be told you'll feel much better tomorrow? Mom time.
13. The older you get, the more you'll question her ideas and morals that are opposite yours and sometimes wonder how it's possible that this lady birthed you. Still you'll love her. And she'll love you. All she wants is for you to be happy. And to be sure that you're eating enough.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.