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Emotional Stages of Growing Apart From Your Girl Best Friend

It's for real! You guys are BFFs again! Not.
PHOTO: Pixabay

SENSING SOMETHING WRONG

1. “Is it just me or did she just seen-zone me on Facebook and Viber?”

You make kwento to her about something and then ask her how she is with her work, her family, and her string of boys. No reply.

It’s been a week, still nothing from her, but you see her online. You chat her up. Nothing.

BEING UNDERSTANDING

2. “Maybe she’s just extremely busy. She’s got a lot of things going for her now.”

Other people call this “making excuses” for your best friend, or worse, “being in denial.” To you, though, you’re trying to understand her. There HAS to be a good reason for her to not reply to you even if a month has passed. Good reason such as her not liking you anymore? NOPE. Can’t be.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

3. “Oh, HELL no. Did she just flake on me right before our dinner date?!”

Yup, she just did.

You worked efficiently so you could leave the office early to be on time for your date. And you were already at the mall strolling and waiting for her to arrive, when she texted you that she can’t make it because she suddenly had work to do and tight deadlines to meet.

You’re not sure what to feel at this point, because you’re just too stunned that your girl best friend actually flaked on you.


TRYING TO KEEP CALM

4. “She said work just came up, no biggie. She still loves me.”

*repeats to self 10 times*

“Doesn’t it suck that she left—

“STFU, brain! SHE STILL LOVES ME.”

SHE’LL COME BACK TO ME!

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5. You’re there in a heartbeat when she sends you a message.

She’s going through some boy troubles and work hiccups, so you do your best to cheer her up. You remind her that she doesn’t have to drag herself down for someone who doesn’t see her worth and who actually belittles her. You remind her that she’s amazing at what she does and has achieved so much at such a young age. Screw everyone else who doesn’t believe in her!

Apart from the sincere pep talk, you send good vibes her way: cute stickers, adorable dog videos, and Zac Efron GIFs.

IT’S FOR REAL, YOU GUYS ARE BFFS AGAIN!

6. Yup, two days of chatting and sending each other cute stickers!

Just like old times. <3

7. You guys finally have that date.

Things are looking bright. You talk about your lives and the industries you’re in, so you see that yes, there’s some distance between you two. But you bridge that gap and connect like you always have. You don’t need to be in the same circle to be the best of friends; you just need to make time for each other and really show that you care.

8. You take BFF selfies just like old times!

Because BFFs who take selfies together, stay together. Right?

FEELING YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER

9. She doesn’t post any of your selfies on Facebook or Instagram.

Oookay, that’s weird. But you give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she’s still picking which shot is best, since you took a lot of pictures and you both looked good in all of them.

10. She posts a photo of the meal she had with you and tags you there.

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You know there’s nothing wrong with your face, but you can’t help asking, “IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY FACE?!” And honestly, so what if there were? BFFs are totally beyond that! They should be.

11. Whoops, she posts more pictures of her glamorous friends & calls them her sisters!

Uh, okay then. *crawls to a corner*


SAD HOW ALL THE YEARS JUST WENT TO WASTE

12. Facebook’s “On This Day” reminders make it worse.

Not only does it suck that you’re no longer BFFs or that you lost the sister you wish you had. It also sucks that you see her sharing “On This Day” posts of herself with your other friends and reminiscing the good old days. And not one of those posts involves you.

YOU HATE HER TO BITS.

13. “I don’t need her in my life anymore. If she wants to cut me off, that’s FINE WITH ME. I don’t need anyone who treats me and my friendship for granted.”

You’re done reaching out to her and not getting replies again. You’re done seeing her attach herself to other people and break away from you more and more for reasons you can’t understand. You bitterly think, “Sorry I’m not cool like your new friends. Sorry you feel pressured to look cool to everyone that you’re actually unhappy!”

LONELINESS

14. Some days you think, “Anybody there I can talk to?” Because who can you talk to when you’re having BFF friend problems?

Yeah, your boyfriend is there, so you can express yourself to him. You’re grateful for that and how he listens to you and cheers you up—that he is somehow like your best friend. Also, you have other guy friends who are actually incredible people who just get you 100 percent. But talking smack to them about that girl whom everyone knows used to be your BFF—it just feels wrong and like you’re still stabbing her at the back.

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And what if you’re single and you’re not close to family? To whom can you talk? You kind of wish you could confide in a stranger online, but you don’t go down that road. Instead you just let yourself ache.

MOVING ON

15. You accept that you two aren’t BFFs anymore and that you hardly seem like friends too.

You give her the space she seems to be wanting from you so you don’t send her messages anymore. You’re still sad and pretty lonely since you’ve grown apart, but that’s how anyone who’s cared about someone close to her should be feeling. You think you won’t reach out to her anymore; you think about finding another best friend. But all you know for sure is that it hurts to lose a best friend and that it happens. So you’ll just savor the moments you share with the people you’re close to now and continue being a good friend to them.