Global Warming Is Causing A Wine Shortage!

Thank goodness there's still vodka.
PHOTO: Pixabay

"Don't panic" and "wine shortage" is a bit of a contradiction in terms, we know, but it's important at times like these to try to remain calm and keep a level head.

Yeah, or that could work, too.

According to CNN, we are about to enter a global wine shortage situation, and so we should all leave work, head straight to the nearest supermarket and buy all the wine.

We've not been more traumatized by a shortage since the great avocado panic of 2015.

And it's all because of this pesky weather, with countries in South America such as Chile and Argentina experiencing heavy rainfall, which has damaged the vineyards. If you're wondering about the specifics, these areas are famed for their production of red wine varieties like Cabernet Sauvignon and Malbec.

Wine producers in South Africa and France have also suffered because of global warming, but thankfully, the US, Spain, and Australia are able to offset the damage a little with a bumper year in production.

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"With global warming, we're witnessing an increase in exceptional events that are more frequent, longer lasting, and of greater scale," Jean-Marie Aurand, the head of the International Organisation of Vine and Wine, told Reuters.

Thankfully, the worldwide wine production levels are only predicted to drop by five percent, which we're hoping when divided by all the other people buying wine doesn't equate to much more than, like, a bottle each?

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Whatever happens, just remember that we're here for you, and we don't have to go through this thing alone.

(And, we've still got vodka.)


This article originally appeared on Minor edits have been made by the editors.

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