1. Taking forever to write your name on the test paper.
Your classmates are already answering questions 1 and 2, while you’re still stuck at writing your name. Teachers should give long-named students a 30-second head start!
2. Stating your name can be a time-consuming activity.
Whether you’re waiting for the school substitute teacher to do a roll call, dictating it to a call center agent, or opening your first bank account.
3. Having to explain the etymology of your name to curious people.
“My parents decided to name me after my Spanish great-grandparents, Luisa and Felicia, and their favorite gem, Diamond, so my name is Diamond Luisa Felicia. But my friends call me Jaya.”
4. School announcements were awkward.
Especially if you’ve already established a cool nickname and the whole school had to hear your full formal name announced on the mic.
5. …The same with other formal events where your name had to be read out loud.
“Ladies and gentlemen, presenting, the maid of honor… Maria Thelma Corazon Reyes!”
6. Not knowing what to do when official forms don’t have enough space for all the letters in your name.
You end up writing the remaining letters outside the boxes and blank spaces and pray that the person receiving the form doesn’t mind.
7. Getting confused when official forms ask for your first name.
Does that mean only the literal first name or all three of them?
8. Always getting asked, “So what should I call you?”
After your teacher or employer reads out your long full name.
9. …But still getting permutations of different and crazy nicknames taken from your long name.
“My friends call me Baby, Mabeth, and sometimes BLT. But my real name is Maria Barbara Leonora Teresa Santos. Stop laughing!”
10. Constantly running into documentary problems
With banks, government agencies, and other companies that require you to submit your complete full name. The moment a name is misspelled or one of your four names is missing, you need to file additional documents to fix the mishap. Ugh!
11. Getting frustrated when companies issue you checks and certifications.
They often get too lazy to spell out your full name, so they’ve taken the liberty of creating shortcut versions of your name, such as abbreviations, initials, and skipping other names—which will bring you back to problem #10.
12. Fantasizing about marrying someone with a short surname to lessen your future agony.
13. …Or marrying someone with a really long last name and hyphenating it with yours, just for the heck of it.
Can you imagine if Miss Universe Pia Wurtzbach actually ended up marrying Dr. Mike Varshavski, her name would actually be Pia Wurtzbach-Varshavski? I MEAN.
14. If you already have a hyphenated last name, you wonder if it’s even possible to hyphenate some more when you get married.
15. Someone will always misspell and/or mispronounce your name, no matter how many times you’ve corrected them.
16. …But friends and relatives, especially your mother, manage to say your full name with no mishaps when they’re mad at you.
“Maria Flordeliza Gonzales-Reyes, lagot sa akin mamaya!”
17. You don’t understand the character limits on social networking usernames.
18. When friends and family try to buy you nameplate souvenirs from Disneyland and other tourist spots, they don’t know which name or nickname to buy.
19. Getting used to people making a spectacle about pronouncing your full name.
20. Finding it unbelievable when you meet someone with only one first name.
“Your name is Anna? That’s all?!”
21. One of the only perks of having a long name is that it’s so unique, you won’t have problems getting an NBI clearance
Because there is most probably no criminal out there with the exact same name as yours.
22. Vowing that you’ll never give your future daughter the same problems, so she will be baptized with only one first name. Or two.