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10 Girly Quirks That Baffle Men

We'll never understand their fascination with sports stats and porn, but it works the other way, too. Discover the prissy practices that drive dudes up the wall.

All right, ladies, we give up. Try as men might, it’s clear that we’re just never going to understand your womanly ways. Your girl lingo alone is enough to boggle the mind (BFF? Mani? Pedi?), but it’s your behavior that really leaves us scratching our heads. Here are 10 classic female mysteries more confusing to us than an inflatable bra.

1. The tiny purse problem
Okay, we don’t get why you insist on carrying a bag that’s so damn small, your boyfriend is forced to hold your cell phone. What if we get separated? All you’ll have is lipgloss to protect you.

2. All the unanswerable questions
Why is it that you inquire about things you really don’t want an answer to? When you ask your man if your hot officemate is pretty, what do you expect him to say? If he goes “Nah, not really,” you’ll argue, citing her flawless skin and silky hair. But if he responds with “Actually, she’s gorgeous!” you won’t speak to him for the rest of the night.

3. Female jean-etics
You own seven thousand pairs of jeans, yet you only have one ass. Really, it looks the same in all of them.

4. The salad scam

We don’t understand why you say you aren’t hungry, just order a salad, and then proceed to eat half your beau’s burger and all of his fries. Should he get two forks for his dessert even though you couldn’t possibly eat another bite?

5. Your concept of quality time
How come after persuading your dude to tag along on your marathon shopping spree, watch six straight episodes of Grey’s Anatomy with you, and then endure a couples foot spa, you still complain, “We never spend any time together.”

6. An irrational fear of small creatures
You can eat raw fish, take kickboxing classes, and deal with your “monthly friend,” yet you still need us to kill the ipis in your bathroom.

7. “Good Guy” games
Women complain that all guys are jerks, but if one calls back too soon after a date, you get freaked out and tell all your friends he’s a stalker.

8. Your need for bathroom backup
We’ll never get your group girlie-trips to the banyo. Is it an anthropological herd instinct or a chance to make out with each other behind the stalls? We prefer imagining option B.

9. The great coldness conundrum
Regardless of the actual temperature, women always seem to think it’s arctic.

10. Your idea of bedhead
Why is it that you’ll spend close to an hour in front of the mirror, spraying and gelling and blow-drying until you’ve gotten your hair to look exactly the way it did when you woke up that morning?

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