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4 Times He Wants You to Be a Little Bossy

Normally, it's considered the girlfriend kiss of death to get militant on your man...except for these moments.

Dudes actually dig when you push them around. But only at certain moments.

For the most part, guys bristle at any hint of being bossed around. But according to experts, there is a scenario where they actually want you to be a bit domineering: when the dude’s completely out of his element. “Men are problem solvers, so if a man doesn’t know how to navigate a situation, he feels helpless and uncomfortable,” says Carol Bruess, PhD, author of What Happy Couples Do. “When you get authoritative, it’s actually a way of giving him the skills and knowledge he needs to be competent.”

Here’s when a little pushiness pays off:

1. He’s Sick as a Dog
Whether they are just being macho or aren’t in tune with their bodies, guys are notorious for ignoring the most obvious symptoms. You need to step in, says Bruess. Try this: “You’re burning up! Get in bed this second. I’m going to take care of you for the rest of the night.”

2. You’re Dealing with Emotional Mega Drama
When a woman is crying or upset, a guy flounders because he can’t figure out how to fix her state of mind. “He really wants to make you happy again, but there’s no clear-cut method for doing that,” says Christie Hartman, PhD, author of It’s Not Him, It’s You. So he’ll be grateful if you direct him. Say, “Baby, I really need you to hold my hand right now and let me gripe. That’s what’ll make me feel better.”

3. Your Parents are Coming to Visit and You’re Stressed
If you’re wigging out, so is he—he knows that if he screws up, he’s in big trouble. “Even if it sounds like overkill, give him a game plan,” Bruess says. Tell your guy something like, “I know this might not seem like a huge deal to you, but I’d like it if you could wear your nice blue slacks and a button-down shirt when you come to dinner with us. It would really mean a lot to me.”

4. You’re Moving in Together
You have your routine, he has his, and now you need to fuse the two. To avoid combustion, lay out the day-to-day living rules that will make you happy, says Hartman. Tell him, “Listen, I have to be up front: I’m a little crazy about messiness. As a basic ground rule, I need you to put your laundry directly in the hamper. Do that for me, and let me know how I can return the favor.”

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