6 Erotic Strokes That Draw Him Closer

New research says that stroking your guy a certain way can not only melt his boxer briefs but also make you feel more deeply linked as a couple.

If you’re like most women, you probably think the best way to touch a man in bed is with finger-crushing pressure (or something close to it), as when you massage his shoulders. However, experts say gently stroking your guy can have a much bigger impact on him. “Light touches can be even more erotic than firm ones because they’re unexpected and highly intimate,” explains Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author of Emotional Fitness For Intimacy.

They also can trigger the release of the cuddle hormone oxytocin. The more oxytocin coursing through your body when you’re with someone, the more bonded you feel. And, get this: When researchers from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and the University of California at Los Angeles wanted to see which touches—light or firm—would trigger a bigger oxytocin release, light strokes won by a landslide. With that in mind, we consulted experts to pinpoint the best ways to add these bond-boosting touches to your sexual repertoire. (Just don’t forget to ask your guy to reciprocate with light touches to your body.)

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1. The Thigh Melter

Have your guy lie on his stomach in bed and let your fingers trail down his thighs to the backs of his knees. These erogenous zones are packed with nerve endings, and stroking them gives him an added bolt of pleasure because they’re rarely touched, says Patti Britton, PhD, a clinical sexologist in Los Angeles. Run the pads of your fingers up and down, moving across the crease in each leg. After every five or so strokes, let your hair graze over the same spots before switching back to your fingers. “Alternating touches creates new sensations,” says Britton. “If he doesn’t know what’s coming next, he’ll be more aroused.”

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2. The Slippery Nipple

While kneeling between his legs, dab flavored lube on your nipples. Then, cup one of your breasts in your hand, and slide the top of your nipple from the bottom of his testicles to the tip of his shaft, circling the head and then sliding it back down. Brushing these two super sensitive body parts against each other feels insanely sexy for your guy (while pleasuring you) because it’s unexpected and feels slightly taboo, says Britton. To really blow his mind, repeat the same path with your tongue, says certified sexuality educator Amy Levine, founder of igniteyourpleasure.com.

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3. The Gliding Light

For the main act, straddle your guy, and have him sit up so your torso faces his. Before you slide his penis inside you, squirt a drop of lube onto your palms. As he enters you, rub your hands together to warm the lube, then gently press the heels of your palms from his abdomen up to his chest. While your hands travel toward his pecs, move your hips up at the same time so that when your palms are on his shoulders, only the tip of his penis is inside you. Then, lower your hips as your hands stroke down his back. When your palms reach the top of his butt, slide them back around to his abdomen and start over. Repeat this sexy cycle several times, then tell him it’s his turn to stroke you the same way.

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4. The Cheek Charger

Have your guy enter you in missionary. When he’s in position, wrap your arms around his lower back, and rest your thumbs at the very base of his tailbone, arching your fingers so that your nails are resting on his butt cheeks. Aim to graze just the surface, Goldsmith says. Drag your fingertips outward to each side, lightly scratching your nails across his cheeks. You can do this when things are hot and heavy as an alternative to squeezing his butt. Want him to do this move on you? Girl-on-top will put your backside in the perfect position.

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5. The Lip Service

When on top, zero in on each other’s nipples. The nerves here have a direct connection to the nerves in your genitals, says Britton, so working them will make his arousal—and yours—even stronger. Bend forward, and use your tongue to trace the outline of his areola, then spiral your way in toward his nipple. Repeat, but this time, purse your lips to make them feel firmer. Double the stimulation by tracing his other nipple with a finger. He can return the favor later by propping himself on an elbow while you lean forward so your nips are in front of his mouth.

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6. The Wonder Ball

From girl-on-top, go reverse-cowgirl by turning to face his feet. While hip-grinding, use one hand to run your fingertips lightly over his testicles. Start at the scrotum base, then trail your digits up to his shaft, then start over. “Before a man orgasms, his testicles swell and elevate closer to the body,” says Levine. “They can be extra-sensitive at this point.” (If you can balance on top of him with your legs, try stroking him with one hand then the other in a constant flow.) He can run his hands over your butt at the same time as you both get closer and closer to an oxytocin-soaked finale.

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