1. Feeling frustrated about not being just as or more successful than the girlfriend. Being “under” is the insecurity of a number of guys. Let’s get this straight: A person’s insecurity isn’t exactly one’s own fault; he can’t be completely blamed for it since it’s not like he wanted it to happen. But to be so obsessed with asserting oneself as the stronger and more successful one in the relationship and to not even wonder why that’s so important to oneself are problematic. A good partner isn’t thrown off by the other person’s hard-earned success.
2. Getting so intimidated he looks for another girl without dumping the girlfriend. As if the insecurity is bad enough. To not have the decency to break up with someone and look for another person—to cheat—is just wrong no matter what. If a guy wants another woman to support—or to make him feel like he can support a lot of people—he can always ask for an open relationship. (Results may vary, of course.)
3. Telling the girlfriend what to wear and what not to wear. “I’m just looking out for you” isn’t going to cut it, especially when the girlfriend knows that you’re worried about other guys eyeing or liking her. She can wear whatever she wants as long as the clothes are appropriate. The only time it’s okay to tell her what to wear is if you’re surprising her by taking her to a place and she has no idea where—this is courtesy since you’re saving her from looking like a fool.
4. Saying she can’t have guy friends, that she can’t even text or chat with guys. Some guys think this is cheating, as if they don’t interact with their female friends. Guys have to realize that some girls just really get along better with male buddies; it doesn’t mean she’s up to no good—or that her guy friends are up to no good either.
5. Being a hypocrite and entertaining other girls. In relation to #4, this is just unfair. Why is the guy allowed to chat with people of the opposite sex, but the girlfriend isn’t?
6. Telling her she’s crazy when she confronts you about your cheating. Goodness. She has enough proof. She’s hurting, she’s dazed and confused, she feels dirty and disgusted. Why does a guy have to make her doubt herself first by calling her crazy? Now that’s crazy and fucked up. Why can’t he just admit it—he’s going to admit it later anyway! Or apologize.
7. Talking to her about former flames and putting them in a good light. Props to the guy for making his partner feel like she’s not good enough, for making her think he’s still not over his exes, or for making her uncomfortable plain and simple. How tactful and wise. Sure, he might just be telling a story or citing facts—but these have to be kept in a box, sealed, and left at some corner to collect dust.
8. Not giving her the comfort she needs when she feels insecure. Don’t belittle what she’s feeling by dismissing it as PMS. Sure, she might be really emotional because of PMS, but the guy, as the boyfriend, should try to address what she’s fretting, complaining, or crying about. He should be there for her at the very least no matter what.
9. Trying to always be tough that there’s no room for intimacy anymore. This does no one any good. The guy will just seem uncool for trying to be cool, or be like a cold-hearted human being, resulting in a very stiff, awkward, unhappy relationship. People in a relationship should be able to let their guards down when with their partner. They’re supposed to feel comfortable at home with her. Guys, let yourselves.
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