Anal sex requires a bit more care and attention than regular penetrative sex for a couple of reasons. While the vagina self-lubricates, your anus does not. This means you've got to go slowly and carefully. Here are ten things your partner needs to know before diving into anal sex.
It feels like you have to poop.
Sometimes, if you’re inexperienced, you might think you actually are pooping. You might yell and warn him. He is not allowed to laugh at this.
He might see some poop.
There's no foolproof way to guarantee anal will be a mess-free activity. Unless you’ve never gone #2 in your life, it’s unavoidable. It’s like going swimming and not getting wet.
He has to go in gentle.
This is not the kind of pool you cannonball into with no fear. You ease your way in slowly, step by step, adjusting to the temperature of the water. Then maybe you splash around a little.
Having wet wipes on hand will make you both feel more at ease.
Any potential mess is part of the deal. But don't underestimate the mental relief of knowing that there are wet wipes within an arm's reach in case of emergency. We recommend something with a plastic flip-top you can operate one-handed, fragrance-free, and pH balanced so it won't cause irritation.
Safe sex is still incredibly important.
Use a condom, not just because it’s cleaner, but because butt sex isn’t safer than vaginal sex in any way.
This doesn’t mean this is a regular thing now.
For lots of couples, anal is a special occasion thing or even a one-time only thing. Just because you’re letting him in the backdoor now, it does not mean he can now come and go as he pleases.
Or that anal play is always on the table.
This isn’t a free pass for him to start poking at your butthole during sex all the time. Obviously, if you want that, go for it. But he can't assume that it's now open season on your butt forever.
He can’t start slamming away like this is vaginal doggy-style.
You feel every shockwave in your butt. He needs to be calm and respectful and reserved, like he’s meeting his state senator or something.
You’re not about to get all fancy with the positions.
It’s fine not to be so bold as to go reverse cowgirl during anal. Doggy-style and missionary are probably the least scary ways to get this done.
There is no such thing as too much lube.
It’s like when McDo gives you a ton of fries and it overflows from the cup and there’s even more in the bag. No one is going to be upset that there are too many fries here. Go lube crazy. Even if at the beginning of your meal you think you can't possibly have any more fries, there's always a chance that midway through you'll want those extras.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.