You Don't Need Another Talking Stage—You Need A Crush

Remember when having a crush was enough?

Nope, not a match on a dating app. Not a situation that requires a 45-minute debrief with your friends who tell you he's no good for you (but you still see him anyway, lol). Just a crush—someone who makes your stomach do backflips every time they like your Instagram Story or walk into the room.

These days, that kind of attraction feels v rare. In an era of dating apps, talking stages, and endless conversations about relationship goals, it seems like we've forgotten how to simply like someone without immediately wondering where it's headed—which is a shame, because crushes are arguably one of the best parts of dating.

Part of why crushes feel so nostalgic is because they used to occupy a bigger role when we were younger. We gave them secret codenames in the group chat. We volunteered for tasks nobody wanted—cleaners, anyone? 😅—because it meant spending a few extra minutes in the same room as them. We suddenly became interested in events we'd normally skip. We knew exactly where they'd be during lunch breaks, what route they took after class, and when they were most likely to be online.

Looking back, none of it was particularly productive. But that's exactly what made it fun.

A crush wasn't something you were trying to solve. It wasn't a potential relationship that needed overthinking. It was just a feeling you got to sit with for a while. Sometimes it turned into something more. Most of the time, it didn't and we were just being happily delusional. Either way, you still got a good story out of it that'll forever be part of your lore.

These days, crushes barely get the chance to develop. The moment someone catches our eye, we can look them up, find their socials, figure out who they hang out with, and learn half their personality through Instagram before we've even spoken a word to them. Before we can simply enjoy liking someone, we're already assessing compatibility, relationship potential, and whether they're worth our time.

And dating apps definitely don't help. Instead of letting things unfold naturally, we're scrolling through profiles like we're HR trying to narrow down potential candidates for the roster, lol. One glance and we're already judging vibes, potential, and whether this could actually go somewhere. It's convenient, sure—but also v exhausting.

There's less room for mystery and curiosity—two things that make having a crush so exciting in the first place. The little discoveries that once happened over weeks or months now happen in a few minutes of scrolling, taking away the slow burn of it all.

Having a crush used to make the most random moments feel important. A regular school day wasn't just a regular school day if you knew they'd be there. A five-second interaction could fuel an entire conversation in the GC that could last until the next day. Even something as simple as seeing their name pop up on your phone could completely change your mood.

That's what makes crushes different from so many other romantic experiences. They're not defined by milestones or labels. They're made up of tiny moments that probably mean nothing to anyone else but somehow mean everything to you.

Maybe that's why crushes feel relevant again. We're in an era where people are gravitating toward more organic experiences—meeting people IRL, spending less time online, and romanticizing third spaces.

These days, it can feel like every feeling needs a next step. If we like someone, we're expected to figure out what to do about it. Should we make a move? Should we confess to them? Should we stop wasting our time and move on?

A crush doesn't really work that way. It could be the person who occupies far more of your brain space than they realistically should, or the reason an otherwise ordinary week feels a little more exciting. At its core, a crush is often just that—nothing more, nothing less.

That's where the value of a crush actually lies. Not in what it could become, but in what it already is. It's wonderfully unproductive, not because it's meaningless, but because it doesn't need to justify its existence. Sometimes, the feeling itself is enough.

So the next time you find yourself developing a crush, try not to rush straight into figuring out what it all means. Let yourself enjoy it first. Give them a ridiculous codename. Tell your friends about the smallest interaction imaginable. Be a little delusional.

After all, that's what crushes are for. 😉