Whether you're single or in a relationship, to develop a crush on someone is, simply put, to be human. It's completely normal, and we all have our fair share of them!
There's no shortage of people we can develop crushes on: That brooding new office hire, the cute stranger you chatted with briefly at a party, or maybe even someone within your friend group. It's one of the most natural things in the world, and if you don't have one yet, chances are it won't stay that way for long.
That said, we recently came across an intriguing idea that will likely impact how you view your crushes moving forward. A post made by 24-year-old content creator Erin Gibney went viral when she introduced a theory called The Convenience Crush—a concept suggesting that some of our crushes may stem more from proximity and routine than genuine attraction to the person.
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What is a Convenience Crush?
"The Convenience Crush is a crush that you develop on someone just because you see them all the time," she says in the video. "Now, because this person is literally always in front of your face, your brain tricks you into thinking that you have real feelings for them. When in reality, you're probably just bored and they're making your life more interesting."
Makes so much sense, doesn't it? With over 2.4 million views and 450,000 likes as of writing, it's clear that people are recognizing just how accurate her theory is. "I actually [need] to have a crush at any place I go [to]," replied one user. "It makes life way more interesting."
Another user wrote: "This [is true]. I literally started crushing on a co-worker three weeks into a job after finding out she was gay, recently dumped by her girlfriend, and on the lookout for a new one."
"This is me [realizing that] most of my crushes have been Convenience Crushes [because] every time I'm away from them for a period of time the feelings just wane, like I [can't be bothered] to care about it anymore," replied another user. "But also, [once] I see them again the feelings would come rushing back, making me question if it was real."
Alas, this comment from a female follower might be our favorite: "My sister and I call this a placeholder crush because they're holding that spot until an actual crush comes along."
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How the Convenience Crush Theory came about
In an interview with Newsweek, Erin revealed that she and her friends first formulated the theory back in high school.
"We would use the term when one of us developed feelings [for] a classmate or a friend," she explained. "We would always encourage each other to 'wait until next semester' or a time when we were no longer around that person all the time to see if the feelings were still there. If not, we would deem it a 'Convenience Crush.'"
While the term Erin coined is the one that's gaining traction, people online have since pointed out that there's a broader term for this phenomenon: The Mere Exposure Effect.
Psychology website Very Well Mind describes the Mere Exposure Effect as the tendency to develop preferences for things simply because they are familiar to us. "If you've seen someone before, even briefly, you are more likely to have positive feelings about them when you see them again," the article reads. "By spending more time with someone, the more attractive you may find them. It's sometimes why people may find themselves developing crushes on co-workers or falling in love with their best friends."
Whether it's called the Convenience Crush, the Mere Exposure Effect, or the distinctly Pinoy "Happy Crush," don't let your newfound understanding of this theory stop you from feeling the butterflies when you meet someone you like! In fact, Erin herself believes that even convenience crushes can develop into something more, given the right circumstances.
"I think that a Convenience Crush can turn into a relationship if those feelings stand the test of time, and still exist when you are not with that person all the time," she clarified.
Ultimately, attraction isn't something we can always control, and it's often beyond our choice who catches our fancy. So it doesn't matter how or why you became attracted to someone, as long as you're aware and mindful of your own feelings. Remember to "crush on someone" responsibly, okay?