He probably talks to you because he didn’t realize you fell asleep like 20 minutes ago.If you’re one of those people who has the ability to fall asleep unreasonably fast, he might be telling you about his day or confessing a deep, dark secret… only to realize you’re checked out. He might even incredulously ask you “are you really asleep?” a few times just to confirm.
He looks at weird shit on his phone and hopes you don’t wake up.It’s not even like he’s looking at porn, but he just winds up in the weird part of YouTube and he’s praying that you’re not about to wake up to catch him.
He steals the blanket back.This is obviously the perfect time to unspool you from the tangle of covers and lay claim to the half of the sheets that are rightfully his.
He stares at you.But not an unhealthy amount. Nothing to be worried about. You just look cute and peaceful and he’s admiring you and thinking about how lucky he is.
He eats chips quietly in bed.Under cover of darkness, he’s snacking in bed, because if he did this while you were awake you’d get mad at him for getting crumbs everywhere.
He finally gets rid of all that gas he was holding in.He’s turning the bed into a steam room of noxious farts, basically. Please note this only applies to new relationships where he still feels weird about farting in front of you.
He puts something else on TV.He’s been waiting this whole time for you to fall asleep so he can turn off the chick flick you can't stop watching and put on literally anything else.
He takes over the bed.He will feign ignorance the next day, claiming he did this in his sleep.
He double-checks your alarms.If he’s a keeper, he makes sure you won’t oversleep and miss work.
Sleep.It’s not as if he spends all his time prowling around getting up to mischief when you’re asleep. Sometimes he just goes to bed, too.
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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.