20 Girls Reveal The Moment They Realized He Was Not 'The One'

'He threw money at me in a crowded restaurant.'
PHOTO: Chris Clinton

You know that feeling you get when you’re dating someone and you realize that—hold up—this is not the love all those Beatles (or okay, Taylor Swift) songs were going on about? We’ve all been there, and yet the triggers that set this feeling off are as diverse as the women who feel them.

We got 20 women to share the moment they found out that the guy they were dating wasn’t The One. Their stories will make you laugh, or nod in agreement, or gasp in sympathy, but more than anything, they’ll make you think, “GLAD THAT’S OVER, GIRL!”

1. The one who had a money-throwing meltdown

“He threw money at me in a crowded restaurant during lunch, because he was in a bad mood and I already needed to leave for work. I went back to that restaurant the following week, hoping nobody remembered his little scene, but the waitress clearly did and said with a cheeky grin, ‘For one na lang po?’ Yes, ate, for one na lang po.” Bel, 24
 
2. The one who thought it was okay to go Tinder-ing

“The moment I realized the guy I was dating was not The One was when he asked me for permission to go on Tinder, met up IRL with the girls he met there and told me about it, and did not stop seeing them even when I voiced out my apprehensions. It was harmless daw. Harmless, my ass.” –Didi, 31
 
3. The one whose absence didn’t make her heart grow fonder

“When I left my hometown to go to Manila for work training and I didn’t miss him at all, because he had barely been talking to me anyway since we stopped working in the same office. That, and for the nearly five years we were together, he never made an effort to get me close to his family.” –Baia, 26
 
4. The one who brought out the stress in her

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“I was stressed out because my three-day vacation was ending. I knew I wasn’t anxious about going back to work, because work was fun for me. It was then that I realized that I was actually dreading seeing my boyfriend again. Right then and there, I decided to end our three-year relationship. I was restless during the plane ride because I was already playing in my head the different ways I could break it off with him. He must have sensed something was up because he gave me a call the moment I got in my apartment at 11 pm. I honest-to-goodness wanted to do it in person, but I really could not lie to myself anymore so I ended it over the phone that same night.” –Buffy, 32
 
5. The one whose balls needed massaging (her words, not ours)

“I dated a drag racer for about a year. He was the ‘gwapo, chinito na may kotse’ type, and the fact that he was a drag racer added to the appeal. That time, my parents gave me a new car after college graduation, and when he saw it for the first time, he commented that my car was brand-new and more expensive than his ride. Since then, he started using every opportunity to somehow snap at me. He consistently declined to be my plus one at work events because he said he wouldn’t know how to act. Soon, I realized that his ego just couldn’t take the beating anymore. After that relationship, I told myself that I would no longer date anyone with self-esteem issues. I want a man, not someone whose balls need massaging all the time.” –Kath, 31


 
6. The one who may or may not make it as a singer

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“When he wanted me to support his dreams of becoming a singer, deep inside I didn’t feel like he had what it took to make it big. I also tried to imagine what our life together would be like, and I saw myself looking like a groupie. Um, no thanks.” – Abby, 34
 
7. The one she wasn’t thrilled to be spotted with

“When I started being embarrassed to be with him. I was always praying that he wouldn’t open his mouth when we were with other people, and I organized dates in places where people I knew would least likely bump into us.” –Andrea, 35
 
8. The one who balked at breastfeeding

“I knew he wasn’t The One when, after our baby was born, he couldn’t stand the sight of me breastfeeding our baby. He wanted to cling to his idea of women as sexy beings and rejected the fact that hey, women are actually mammals whose breasts produce milk for their offspring. I slowly made my way out of the relationship because of that.” –Sheela, 27
 
9. The one with the hidden agenda

“He seemed to be the perfect guy: pogi, mabait, hardworking, seemingly harmless. I had been looking forward to when he’d finally ask me out. Our first official date started great; he was charming and sweet. After dinner, we took a cab. He didn’t tell me where we were going. The next thing I knew, we were at a drive-in motel. That’s when I realized he wasn’t the guy I thought he was.” –Joy, 29
 
10. The one who had a secret

“I had been dating this guy for a year—or so I thought. I really thought we had a shot as a couple, until he admitted to my best friend that he’s gay. Ouch.” –Joy, 25
 
11. The one with no direction in life

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“When you’re in a relationship, you get to know a person and gauge if he can be a potential partner to you for life. With my ex, I was very much willing to support him and his dreams. But I realized that he didn’t even know what he wanted. I need someone who can make up his mind and be passionate about achieving his dreams.” –Grace, 32
 
12. The one who’s PDA-shy

“When I wanted to hold hands while walking out in public and he didn’t. He said he wasn’t into PDA. That stung, because I’m a naturally affectionate person, and I wanted that.” –Nikki, 23
 
13. The one who literally checked if it were raining

“I’m a grammar Nazi, and I dated someone who once asked me in a dead-serious tone, ‘What language do they speak in the UK? Ukrainian?’ One day, I couldn’t make it to our date so I texted him, ‘Rain check?’ He replied, ‘It’s not raining.’” –Anj, 29
 
14. The one with the girlfriend

“When my friends were vehemently opposed to me being with a guy because he already had a girlfriend. I know, I know—I was stupid then, and he and his girlfriend were having problems, and I really thought he’d leave her to be with me. If my friends hadn’t convinced me otherwise, I probably would’ve continued carrying on a relationship with him.” –Kia, 20


 
15. The one who was a smooth—and slimy—operator

“I had been dating this older guy for a few months, and he kept steering the relationship to a more intimate level by being all touchy and trying to kiss me all the time even though I was not comfortable. Once I realized that he was a pervert who didn’t respect whether I was ready to be intimate or not, I stopped dating him.” –Carla, 21
 
16. The one who thought Vanilla Sky was an ice cream flavor

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“To make up for missing a lunch date with me, he texted me, ‘Anong gusto mo?’ I so badly want to see the new Tom Cruise movie so I replied, ‘Mag-Vanilla Sky tayo!’ He said okay, then about an hour later he texted and said ‘Walang Vanilla Sky. Inikot ko na buong mall. Can you pick another flavor?’ For a few seconds I was confused, then I burst out laughing.” –Kitchie, 33
 
17. The one with the homophobic past

“I realized he wasn’t The One when he told me that he used to be mean to the gay kids in his high school, and that at one point he even hit one of them. He said that he’s become more accepting of gay people since, but come on, man—kindness isn’t something you learn; it’s something that’s in you.” –Cathy, 30
 
18. The one who was all “you and me against the world, babe” 

“I thought I was in love with my college boyfriend; I even defended him against my friends and family who didn’t like him because they found him weird. That was until he asked me to elope with him and said that he was ready to marry me! Hello, anong papakain niya sa akin? That same night, I started planning how to break up with him.” –Jennifer, 28
 
19. The one who was absent in her wedding fantasies

“I knew he wasn’t The One when every time I would envision myself walking down the aisle, I couldn’t imagine him as the one waiting for me at the end.” –Ivanka, 34
 
20. The one who just didn’t feel like ~The One~

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“It wasn’t a moment, but many little things. Sure, he’s cute, he’s fun, we had so much in common, and we really liked each other, but I just couldn’t shake off that nagging feeling that beyond that, there was nothing more and that I deserved better. To the girls who are reading this, I hope you listen to that inner voice. Don’t ever settle!” –Marga, 29

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