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Guys Dish Their Post-Coital Thoughts

Ever wondered what really runs through his mind after your sack session? Cosmo got real guys to spill the dirty, honest truth.

We know what occupies a guy’s brain before getting down and dirty (all he’s focusing on is doing it and how good it’s gonna be), but the secret we’re dying to crack is what goes through the typical man’s mind right after an erotic encounter.

“Once the deed is done and a man is no longer preoccupied with whether or not he’ll have sex, his brain clears,” explains Warren Farrell, PhD, author of Why Men Are the Way They Are. “In fact, the hour after intercourse is when he’s in the most honest frame of mind.” So in search of answers, Cosmo rounded up real men and, after a lot of convincing, got them to dish.

What He Thinks About His Performance

“I replay the highlights in my mind—the foreplay moves that made my girlfriend moan, any hot stuff she said or noises she made, and of course, the look on her face when she had an orgasm.” - Don, 30

“When I last for ages, I’m thinking, God, I’m good…and she’s totally going to tell her friends I’m a stud.” -Anton, 19

“After really good sex, especially if it’s with some chick whom I’m probably not going to see again, I’m lying there imagining my buddies’ faces when I give them the play-by-play.” - Marty, 30

“When I first make hubad with a new partner, I worry about her assessment of my equipment: Is it big enough? Does she like the look of it? And then afterward, when we’re both lying there panting, I’m like, Oh yeah, you love my package—no doubt about it.” - Matt, 26

“If I try a new move, like a killer tongue technique, afterward I’m praying she doesn’t ask where I learned it…’cause it was totally from some nasty girl-on-girl porn tape.” - Jim, 29

“My penis shrivels once I climax, so I’m thinking, Damn, I hope she doesn’t notice as I reach for my boxers. Any guy who tells you he doesn’t stress about shrinkage is lying—or huge.” - Rex, 25

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What He Thinks About Your Performance

“If it was awesome—like if we had kick-ass chemistry and she was enthusiastic and hot, I go over that in my mind. But if she was terrible, it’s like a gory scene I can’t help staring at.” - Chris, 24

“Recently, I got it on with this girl I’d been chasing for months. Once we were done, I was in shock thinking, Wow, it finally happened. Don’t blow this one, Gino, and then, Did she want it as bad as I did? I hope so, because I definitely want to get into her pants again.” - Gino, 24

“My new girlfriend is so flexible. I mean she can throw her leg over her head—seriously. So after sex, I’m usually just marveling at how incredible her body is and how she can bend it like a pretzel. That, and I’m penning a mental thank-you note to her yoga instructor.” - Will, 32

“All right, this is gonna sound sleazy, but I run my numbers. If a girl was a great lay, I add her to my tally. If she was subpar, I’m lying there thinking, She only counts as a half.” - Bong, 27

“When I first meet a woman, I imagine what she’ll be like in the sack. Like if she’s a freak on the dance floor, I figure she’ll be a freak in bed, too. Then after we have sex, I assess whether she lived up to my expectations. Most of the time I’m correct. But some women surprise me. For example, my ex was so shy, I figured she’d hold back, but she totally let loose, and I remember thinking Whoa, I read you wrong.” - Milo, 24

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What He Thinks About The Relationship

“When a girl sleeps with me after a night of partying, I can’t help wondering if it’s the beer goggles—not my natural charms—that helped me score. So when the deed is done, I’m hoping she doesn’t sober up and think it’s a mistake.” - Chard, 24

“When my fiancee and I have amazing sex, I think, Man, I hope we’re still screwing like that in 20 years.” - Ted, 33

“This is horrible, but I have a crush on my girlfriend’s friend Reena, who has an amazing body. So once in a while I wonder, If I dumped Beth for Reena, what would the sex be like?” - JR, 29

“Before I hook up with my girlfriend, I’m fixated on her boobs, her legs, her ass. But after we do it, I really see her, and that’s when I think how much I freakin’ love her.” - Ryan, 25

“For me, it’s always the same thing: Do I have to call her later? I hope she doesn’t think this is going to be something serious.” - Jack, 20

“I never know how I really feel about a girl until straight after sex, because that’s the only moment I’m not thinking with my dick. My thoughts are usually Ugh, get me out of here or Hmmm, I might snuggle down here for a while, and then I have my answer.” -Bobby, 27

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What He Wants To Happen Next

“I have an overwhelming desire to put my pants back on and bolt.” - Nick, 25

“Let’s have sex again!” - Leo, 27

“Check my e-mail…without her completely spazzing out on me.” - Adam, 34

“I’m plotting my exit strategy. It’s not that I’m a jerk, but I want to crash. So I give her 15 minutes of spooning and then I tell her I have plans.” - Les, 32

“After really boring sex, I want to play a video game.” - TJ, 19

“I am all about the three Ss-space, sandwich, and sleep.” - Max, 25

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Random Things That Pop Into His Brain

“I’m always starving after sex, and lately my mom’s been cooking pasta for me, so you know that’s what I’m thinking about.” - Tim, 29

“David Hasselhoff. It weirds me out when it happens, but my girlfriend has this Baywatch poster on her ceiling, and when I’m lying there after sex and looking at it, I think of him and that cheesy music.” - Ian, 32

“My girlfriend’s cat is usually in the room when we have sex, so I start wondering where it is.” - Lucky, 25

“My iPod. I’m a big music geek, and I like to make playlists for each of the girls I’m seeing to listen to during sex, so I’m usually focused on what song we got up to.” - Vince, 25

“If I’m not into a chick, I think about sports. It depends on the season, but right now it’s baseball or what players I’ll add to my fantasy league.” - Andrew, 23