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9 Kinky Sex Secrets He Won't Tell You

He's wondering how expensive this'll be.
PHOTO: istockphoto

Everyone defines "kinky" in their own way. For some, it's light bondage. Maybe it's a little spanking. For others, it means a few hundred dollars of leather and a sex swing. And yet, to some people, that's not even kinky. Whether he's super experienced, or trying something different out for the first time, here are some thoughts your guys is likely keeping to himself.

  1. He's wondering if things will get way weirder.

    You could definitely push the envelope further here. When you said "kinky" you meant some light spanking and a blindfold. But he pictured latex and fursuits and dripping wax.
  2. He's winging these knots. 

    Unless he's a skipper, a longshoreman, or an Eagle Scout, he's basically just tying shoelace knots a whole bunch of times and trying really hard to sell that as sexy.
  3. He watched 50 Shades to prepare. 

    Well, he watched like, half of it. He was on his phone most of the time, but he's pretty sure he gets the general idea.
  4. He's putting himself in a very vulnerable situation, and he knows it. 

    He's all tied up with nowhere to go. That's not to say you’ll do anything messed up, but for some reason… that scene from Gone Girl where Neil Patrick Harris dies keeps playing in his head… and NPH wasn’t even tied up.
  5. He's a little worried about hurting you.

    He can't tell if you were into that last spank or if he went too far. This is why safe words were invented. It's chivalrous to check in and make sure everything is okay, but it can also kill the mood when you just want to be spanked harder. So seriously, have a safe word, even for lighter fare.

  6. He didn't think he'd be as into it as he is. 

    It's tough for anyone to gauge just how they'll react to some kinky sex. But more often than not, he's probably pleasantly surprised at the results.
  7. He's probably a little anxious. 

    Trying anything new in bed requires a certain level of trust and understanding. This is especially true if you're taking the lead and teaching him how this all works. It almost feels like he’s having sex for the first time again. It’s a nervous energy.
  8. He's a little concerned you just ruined his favorite belt. 

    Yeah, it was sexy the way you tore it off his pants and tied him up with it. But also, what else is he going to wear to work?
  9. This better not be expensive. 

    It's one thing to get into kinky sex. It's a whole other to get into say… serious BDSM. That requires tons of hours of training and lots of accessories… it's like sex golf.

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This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.