Nice things come in small packages. Or do they? In life, all you can do is play the cards you are given. And when it comes to penis size, while most men have a reasonably sized deck, there are a minority who received what society perceives as the joker of the pack. In case it wasn’t clear, I’m talking about micropenises. But what do we know about micropenises and the guys who possess them? And more importantly, what do those men want you to know?
1. It still functions normally.
The vast majority of micropenises function perfectly adequately. Personally, I have no physical trouble with erections, ejaculation, or even going to the bathroom for that matter. The most common issues presented by micropenises in today’s society are psychological or based around sexual performance anxiety. They may be short, but they are good to go!
2. It’s difficult to warn women in advance.
Men with micropenises are in a bit of a catch-22 situation when it comes to telling potential partners about their size. You might feel deceived if you have invested time in a man only to find out he has a micropenis at the last minute but there are reasons why a guy might not bring it up. Many guys with micropenises say that providing a preliminary warning is problematic because women often react badly. Some say that women feel insulted at being warned because it takes for granted that she wanted to have sex in the first place. Others say that women also feel insulted at being warned because it could imply the guy thinks she's shallow. There is also the risk for guys of losing a woman they really like before they have had the chance to see if they have sexual chemistry. There is honestly no good way to tell someone.
3. Please don’t lie about how you feel about it.
When getting intimate, many guys with a micropenis have experienced well-meaning women tell them that their penis is normal or even big. If a woman told me that, I would think she was really kind and would take it as a sign that she has a good heart. But most men would react differently. Men with micropenises know they are tiny, and most of them feel frustrated when a well-meaning woman tells them that she thinks their micropenis is big or normal in size. They feel like they are being pitied, which in turn reinforces the idea that there is something wrong with them — even though that is probably the opposite of the woman’s intention. If you want to make a guy feel better about his micropenis, it would probably be better to say that you like the size he has as opposed to denying that it is tiny.
4. Body-shaming jerks and misogynists by invoking small penis size actually shames all men with micropenises.
Here is an example of J. K. Rowling body-shaming a troll who made a nasty remark to her:
Misogyny is never an excuse for body-shaming. That one comment infers that misogynists are disrespectful to women because they have tiny penises. Such an insult implies that society connects penis size to a person’s value as a human being. It also heaps more shame on to men who really do have tiny penises. J. K. Rowling isn't the only woman who has been guilty of this but it’s harmful nonetheless. Body-shaming micropenises reinforces toxic masculinity and should therefore be considered anti-feminist.
5. Penis enlargement procedures are a myth.
The reality is that nobody has ever safely enlarged the size of their penis to a significant length without drawbacks. Penis enlargement surgery is dangerous, painful, expensive, and in the rare cases where successful, it can reduce sexual feeling and enjoyment of sex.
There is a lot of nonsense written about how guys with micropenises can get surgery if size is a real issue but that is simplistic to say the least. In terms of length, the biggest increase you can reasonably hope for is just 1 or 2 centimeters, which when you have a micropenis, makes practically no difference whatsoever. Even in the U.K., where some women can get breast enlargements free via the National Health Service, men have to pay for penis enlargement themselves. In short, penis enlargement surgery is a non-starter for micropenises.
6. Dignity costs nothing but is so precious.
One of the most shockingly common issues that men with micropenises report is when women who they have slept with gossip with their friends about the guy’s size. When guys find out about this, it robs them of their dignity and often destroys their sexual confidence for the rest of their life. Imagine how it would feel if you had a vaginal issue and every man in your workplace knew about it. You will find it very hard to find a guy with a micropenis who hasn’t suffered some form of bullying because of it. But then again, they are relatively rare, so you’ll probably find it hard to find a guy with a micropenis in the first place.
7. Despite points nos. 1–6, some men with micropenises enjoy humiliation of their micropenis as a fetish.
I’m not a psychologist, but I personally think it’s the brain’s way of saying, "You are going to suffer a lot of mental damage with this so let’s get the feel-good chemicals in action every time it happens." I think it’s a coping mechanism, albeit a sexual one, but these guys often feel ashamed afterward.
8. Sex can still be great.
Most men with micropenises have sexual problems either because of the way people react or talk about penis size, or because they haven’t gained enough experience to improve the way they perform. In my case, it is a combination of both, but if I look at the situation objectively, there are guys out there who have great sex lives with micropenises. They are just few and far between. If a man truly cares about the woman he is with and if she is open-minded, he will find other ways of making her sexually happy.
This article originally appeared on Cosmopolitan.com. Minor edits have been made by the Cosmo.ph editors.