How To Know If Your Relationship Is Unhealthy

Everyone has disagreements, but here's how to know if it's signaling something more serious.
PHOTO: istockphoto

Relationships can be a huge part of our lives no matter our sexuality, orientation, or preference. While there are many things that can affect whether we have happy partnerships, there are some behaviors that shouldn't be present in a ~healthy relationship~.

"Everyone has arguments, and everyone disagrees with their partners, family members, and others close to them from time to time. But if this begins to form a consistent pattern, if it starts to make you feel intimidated, controlled, or fearful, then it's a sign that you could be in an abusive relationship," Katie Ghose, Chief Executive of Women's Aid, says.

Katie adds, "Taken in isolation, some of the behaviors may seem like small or harmless acts, but together they make up a repeated pattern of behavior that is frightening and upsetting."

Here's a list of behaviors to look out for:

  1. Your partner shouts, mocks, accuses, calls you names, or threatens you verbally.
  2. They threaten to withhold money from you or take your phone or laptop away.
  3. They persistently put you down in front of others.
  4. They withhold information from you, lie, break promises, are jealous, or have other relationships.
  5. They monitor your phone calls, texts, emails, and social media accounts.
  6. They follow or check up on you, embarrass you in public, or go everywhere with you.
  7. They make angry gestures (like punching walls), intimidate you using their physical size, break your possessions. They threaten to hurt or kill you, either with or without a weapon.
  8. They use threats or intimidation to force you to perform sex acts or to look at porn. They constantly pressure you into having sex when you don't want to.
  9. They are physically violent whether that's punching, slapping, biting, kicking, pinching, pushing, restraining you, or pulling your hair out.
  10. They deny any of the above happens, or say you caused it to happen. They say they can't control their anger, they beg you to forgive them and cry while promising it will never happen again.
  11. They (unjustly) accuse you of flirting with other people or being unfaithful.
  12. They try to tell you where you can and can't go, or try to stop you from seeing people you care about including friends and family.
  13. They pressure you to use drugs and other substances.
  14. When you talk, they either don't listen or don't respond.
  15. They refuse to help with household chores or childcare.
  16. They threaten to self-harm or attempt suicide.
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This article originally appeared on Minor edits have been made by the editors.

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