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How To Talk Dirty Without Feeling Like An Idiot

'Keep doing that.'
PHOTO: Chris Clinton

Unless you’ve mastered the Kama Sutra or are the Mr. Miyagi of all things sex-related, you probably cringe at the idea of having to talk dirty in bed. But dirty talk is a wonderful opportunity to spice up your sex life and express your other side. Below are a few tips on how you can have your man orbiting the moon in no time. 

1. Set some boundaries.

Ask your partner if there are certain words he isn’t comfortable with. For example, some guys like being called “daddy,” while others find it creepy. If he’s the latter, accidentally saying that word might ruin your rhythm.

2. It’s not exactly what you say, but how you say it.

There’s more to dirty talk than just words. It can also mean incorporating other forms of speech like sighs, moans, and grunts. Plus, as many of you may know, eye contact goes a long way. 


3. Be yourself.

This might sound so cliché, but it applies to sex as well. Dirty talk works best when you’re comfortable and confident, which is the complete opposite of how you feel when you think you have to put on a big show. If he’s a man worth your time, he probably won’t expect you to be a porn star. You don’t have to say things you don’t mean. For example, if he doesn't have a huge dick, he probably knows it. And if you focus on how big he is while you're talking dirty, he'll know it isn't genuine. 

4. Start slow.

Contrary to popular belief, dirty talk isn’t about stringing a bunch of vulgarities together (although you totally could).  It can be as simple as, “You taste so good,” or “You can have me any way you want,” or “Keep doing that.” From there, you can start adding swear or slang words—if that’s something you’re comfortable with. But if you’re really afraid, you can always send him a naughty text first and see how that goes. 

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5. Be descriptive.

Compliment your partner and give him an ego boost. Talk about his body; tell him which part is your favorite. You could also tell your partner what you want to do to or with them before you do it, and then tell them what you love about it while it’s happening. Also, don't neglect your other senses! Do you like the way he tastes? Do you love the sounds he makes? Consider all your options. 

If you need a little push, here’s a complete list of things you can say to get bae all hot and bothered. 

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