I’m single and have been using Tinder for a few years now. That’s how I meet most of the girls I date. Last year, Maria* was one of the girls I swiped right for.
To be brutally honest, there really wasn’t anything remarkable about her Tinder profile. She wasn’t one of those girls I was dying to meet. But she swiped right for me as well, so I started chatting with her. We talked about work and hobbies—all small talk.
Eventually she revealed that she has a boyfriend—a fiancé, in fact. I took that as a sign that she was off-limits, but she had other plans. One day she confessed, “I want to have fun before I get married.” My first reaction was, “Oh, you want to hit the bars and clubs? Sorry, I’m not into the EDM thing.”
“Ok, if that’s what you think I meant by fun,” she replied.
I asked her to clarify. She mentioned sex. I was hesitant at first, because she claimed she was engaged. I fished for more details, like asking her why she wanted to do this to her future husband. She had so many complaints about him, like the way he doesn’t spend any time with her.
She was quite persistent, and I’m a single guy with no strings attached, so I agreed to see her. We had a few drinks at a bar and enjoyed each other’s company. I asked her if she wanted to head somewhere more private to have fun. She said yes, and I took her to a motel.
Starting that night, we kept seeing each other once a week for sex at motels. This went on for four months until the week of her wedding. At times, I asked her if she was sure about marrying the guy—not because I was in love with her or anything, but because I wanted to know why an engaged girl would do that to her fiancé. She claimed she really loved him; it’s just that he rarely spends time with her. She also insisted that she simply wanted to have fun before her wedding.
One time, I joked that he’s probably sleeping around too, just like her. She said he would never do that. I just laughed.
She took control of the entire affair, and I simply went along for the ride. The month before her wedding, she told me that it’s time to stop the fun. She gave me a specific date to mark the end of our affair. I agreed, without any second thoughts. I never had any feelings for her from the start. It was just sex, and she was more than willing to give me that.
During the four months I saw her, I didn’t sleep with anyone else but her, but the weeks leading to her wedding date, I started hooking up with my other Tinder matches. I asked myself if I would seriously pursue Maria had she been single with no fiancé, and my answer was an easy no. We didn’t really have any deep conversations and nothing much in common. Whenever we met up, I always prayed that nobody would see me with her—not because I was afraid of getting caught by her fiancé, but because I was embarrassed to be seen with her. She actually wasn’t my type.
The week before her wedding date, we went to the motel for one last time, and we stopped messaging each other as we agreed. She got married early this year, and we both kept true to our word.
She’s still on my Facebook friends list, and since we don’t have any common friends, I’m not worried about anything. I saw her change her Facebook status to “married,” and I continue to see her posts every now and then on my Facebook wall—and I don’t feel anything for her. I just feel sorry for her husband.
*Names have been changed.